Little Love.

August 29, 2016

I actually love the nights with this sweet pumpkin. I've felt like this with each child.... The sweet, fleeting, intimate moments that happen in the middle of the night/ the rocking and nursing and quiet that comes when it's just you two awake. The quiet walking up and down the hallways, the sound of the fans and the little squeaks you make. The soft whisper of a lullaby and the way you slump in the safety of my arms. I know how quickly they go. These are moments I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, pure heaven.

Tomorrow she has been hearthside for 4 weeks. 4 weeks!!! I can't imagine her not being in our world- she's made our family complete. 

We love you so so much little love. 

First Day.

August 24, 2016

There are visual reminders of them everywhere. 

I mean it's just school, I realize that- but I miss them desperately. Drawings taped by my desk, little toys in piles, their shoes slumped by the back door, the empty carseats.

 I worry about them ....are you navigating things without me there? The same worry comes with pride....pride that you both are spreading your wings and growing in new ways...ways that need to happen without me there. 

Last year the jump from 2 day kindergarten to 5 day first grade with Aiden stretched me so much. Sometimes I think nothing will stretch me the way that did when it comes to school, we all grew a lot last year. 

The hardest, most unexpected part of motherhood for me has been in the letting go. It is so so hard for me to let go of my kiddos. Hard for me to share moments with them. But sometimes loving someone is doing something hard, the best thing for them- even if it hurts me . I KNOW it's best in my heart, but it doesn't make my struggle any less hard.

Reminding myself its a BLESSING to have the opportunity to watch them grow and move through stages. It's a blessing to watch our kiddos gain their independence.

I love you both more than you can imagine. Laying next to you at bedtime, talking through your day...hearing your stories and seeing you grow- those are moments that I will forever hold near to my heart. 3:00 hurry up, we miss you! 

Apple is Four!

August 21, 2016

My sweet precious Appie, happy birthday baby!

I cannot wait to celebrate this sweet baby girl. Yesterday we had her party and today we will celebrate her all day long.... We have the cake made, the presents wrapped, the day planned- I hope she knows how special she is. 

 I love you so so much, more than words can say!!
You have changed our world forever and hold my heart little miss. 

Your spirit is truly infectious- filled with kindness and even at such a young age so filled with selflessness and the desire to take care of others. You are always thinking about everyone else.... we love you so much and are daily blown away by who you are. 

No words could ever truly say how much we love you- you are everything. 

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August 19, 2016