August 01, 2010
Christopher & I have had a really crazy summer financially. Without sharing too much I will say that a lot of unfortunate things, that were out of our control, landed us in some very tough spots. It is interesting because despite what has been spiraling around us, I have never felt closer to Chris and have been extremely thankful the girl I was 5 years ago is long gone because she may have felt differently in these times. Since knowing Chris I have learned what it really means to give, what it means to live for others and how to live simply. He has opened my eyes to so much. I can't help but laugh when I think about the things I may have considered "tough" 5 years ago. The amazing thing is I started reading Beth Moore's, Esther today. I am starting a new biblestudy in 2 weeks and decided in a rare, quiet moment today I would read a bit.
"Life here is full of trouble whether in a sky high mountain of small annoyances or an earth splitting canyon of crisis. There's no escaping it until we escape these mortal bodies. The ending to each story is happy, but before that happy ending is realized, much grief occurs. When we trust our lives to the unseen but ever-present God, He will write our lives into His story and every last one of them will turn out to be a great read. With a grand ending. And not just in spite of those catastrophes. Often because of them. Don't just wait and see. Live and see."
She goes on to talk about Psalm 49
"....for when he dies he will carry nothing away....."
Prioritizing wealth, status, a standard of living that meets certain expectations & strutting riches are literally a precious waste of time.
You know, over the past few months I have seen the love of Jesus from people in a whole new way. Cash in our mailbox, diapers on our front porch, people taking us to dinners and movies so that we can enjoy date nights, borrowing cars, the list goes on. What is beautiful about it is that these people can see first hand how much these small things are helping us in BIG ways. We would never ask for help...this is just a group of people who have truly grasped what it means to give. I truly hope that if I ever have the means someday that I will have the ability to see where my wealth goes. Giving all of it all the time. Because I would hate to hoard it for my own benefit and then die...and never have done what I believe God calls us to do as believers....give with open hands.
I also will say that more than ever I am aware of the sufferings of people around me. Girls having miscarriages, the heartache of illness, children with cancer, financial trouble......life is hard and what I am coming to findout is that some of the people who have gone through the most are the most willing to give, understand and love in big ways. There is something about suffering that makes you better.
Oddly enough I welcome these times. They shape us.
ALSO, on a sidenote...I have never received SEVEN comments on anything!!!! So thanks for all the kind words and encouragement on my "thoughts on parenting" post!