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confessions on motherhood

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So much on my heart today. 


Some of this will step on toes. Please just read it for what it is, 
just one persons perspective. 
Even the other day I said, listen to your own convictions…. Not everyone else


This is just a perspective I want you to wrestle with. 


Chris and I tend to think some extremes on certain issues. Some different, some alike. When we first had Aiden I remember not understanding what everyone meant when they said bringing home a baby was this massive adjustment. Now looking back I can see that was partly from our rough starts ( I saw things differently) and partly being a bit clueless. 


Having kids for sure changes the dynamics of your marriage and your life. 
But I also remember Chris telling people 
” if your a selfish person, kids will rock your world”. 

Then I started having this massive problem with everyone telling me that my baby needed to be independent & that I needed “me” time. 

A few things to mull over:

For me, staying home with my kiddos is a privilege and a massive sacrifice for our finances. It can be taken at any moment from me. Living with that fear perspective…. 


The last thing I’m thinking about is me time. 
The last thing I am… is frustrated with them. 
It’s daily gratitude and soaking up every moment. 


I can tell you. We could care less about schedules. My sweet babies eat when they want, sleep when they want. 
And spend a day with us…they are both incredibly happy children.


A lot of times I think back on “Mary” times. Back then babies were constantly carried, snuggled, held, fed. Thinking this way takes the pressure off sometimes.What if these women were being sharpened by the hard times (that will only last for a season)? 


Also, please hear me when I say this. I have lots of struggles, lots of heartache in my life, lots of issues….
my kids just aren’t one of them. 
So please remember you never know what people are going through. 
Life is hard. 
This just happens to be an area of my life that isn’t any of those.


Next, read this story. Read about how this girl lost her baby at 4 months. I had a friend lose a baby at three months. 
You’ll hold your littles tighter. You won’t mind the exhaustion. 

We are all going to blink and they’ll be grown. I know for me personally my last pregnancy, my last little baby growing into a toddler will be extremely hard on me. 


I will beg back these times. 

I have over these past two years saved articles I love… I want to share some quotes with you… 


“We believe God gave babies special gifts to get our attention so we would fulfill our responsibility of meeting their needs.
Consider how our selfish, sinful nature desires to neglect our own children. We believe God knew we would get so preoccupied with other things – even so-called important things – that left to our own fallen nature, we would not give our babies the high level of nurturing that would help them develop to their fullest potential – physically, emotionally, mentally, and intellectually.”



“Is that really God’s plan for mothers and babies?
Often in our efforts to “do the right thing” or to meet our own needs, we forget to extend grace to our own beloved children. God has freely and lovingly blessed us with His gift of grace. Who are we to deny grace to our own children? When your child begs for your loving arms, extend mercy, and do not betray his trust.
What would they learn from such an experience?
Well, our children would learn that babies are inconvenient, and we must prevent them from interfering with our lives by controlling and ignoring them. They would also have a different understanding of Bible verses like this one: “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.” Isaiah 66:13a NIV
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*side note: 2 of you asked questions to me in my last post, so 2 quick answers!
1. crib & changing table are from babies r us!! vintage white iron
2. mason jar cupcakes: you make the cupcakes and then place them in the jars with various layers of icing…they are great for kids because they can just eat out of the jar with a fork!




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Lifestyle

February 26, 2011

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  1. Anonymous says:

    This was good for me to read today. Thanks for sharing Casey.

  2. Courtney says:

    I loved reading this Casey! I am a lot like you…schedules are not a huge deal here either and our kids are so happy and healthy. I will however, take from this that I need to hold them a little closer and tighter. Sometimes we take our babies for granted with out even knowing. Thanks for this!

  3. I came across your blog from a friend of a friend. I like reading about your more laid back approach to parenting. It makes me more laid back and then I enjoy my daughter more. Thanks for sharing!

  4. April Seeds says:

    Casey~I have been following for Jessa's blog and I am hoping to meet you soon! I was a stay at home mom for a year and finances forced me back part-time. I cherish my time with my children and both of my babies will celebrate their 8th and 5th birthday in the coming months and it makes my heartache. I love that you parent to what fits you and not what "fits" everyone else. Parenting is hard enough without worrying what others think.

  5. Elisa Farrow says:

    I just found your blog and Im not going to lie I think it may be one of my new favs! Look forward to reading more 🙂

  6. catherine says:

    I am so glad to hear that you aren't stressed over your kids schedules because I am not either and I think they are more easy going and can handle chance easier. I lovve reading your blog. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Lindsey says:

    beautifully put, casey! i feel like we have very similar views on this. i'm very thankful for your honest writings…i have learned alot about being a new mama from your sweet words.

  8. This just brings tears to my eyes!! I just love learning about motherhood from you … such a wonderful example in my life!! I am so blessed to have this time of unemployment to spend with you! I love your comparison to Mary and the Isaiah 66:13 reference! I will definitely remember these lessons as I move toward the "baby track." Love you Casey!! P.S. did you know that you are #58? KEEP VOTING PEOPLE!!!

  9. pakosta says:

    that photo is amazing!
    your perspective is exactly how I have always viewed motherhood!
    I had 2 little girls 19 months apart and I enjoy every moment with them. well not the tantrums still at age 11, but still, I cherish being a mom!
    thanks for your post, it's beautifuL!
    what a beautiful mama you are!
    tara

  10. Great picture!
    Yes, babies are meant to be snuggled and car seats are for cars!
    xox,
    mrs boo

  11. Michelle says:

    Don't know where this went before…but here goes again!
    I love this post and your views of motherhood. Enjoy every moment. They pass too quickly and what people think is so major now, doesn't really matter in the long run.
    I wholeheartedly agree with you!

  12. Kjohnson says:

    Such good advice! I'm not a mom yet but I will be someday. I know that when the chance comes for me to actually have babies I will be more relaxed like you. Time flies and tomorrow is never promised:) Love your perspective, thanks for sharing. Also can I just state how freaking rockstar this picture is? UGHH I am obsessed (not in a weird way) I love it!!

  13. Brigitte says:

    I love that you love being a mamma!
    Your children are beautiful and your honesty is so refreshing.
    Keep trusting in God for all the wisdom you need to raise your children in His ways – it sounds like you are doing a great job already and I am encouraged by your words today to intentionally give my children even more cuddles and kisses 🙂 X

  14. tracywadeart says:

    YOU ROCK MY FACE OFF!!!! Ok, this is why I love you so and have only known you a short while. Kindred spirits we are my friend. I've been confronted many a times on the need of "me time" from friends….I've even had friends send me references of babysitting services so my husband and I can go out. My life is short. I was told 13 yrs. ago when I was 23 that the chances of me having a baby of my own was slim to none. I am 36 and have the most perfect babies on the planet. My dates consist of putting my babes to bed, setting the table, lighting candles and talking to the love of my life about the life we have and how much we love it. I just had a friend lose her 18th month old son to cancer. He has been at the feet of Jesus for 6 months now. She said that she is comforted knowing he is cancer free and will never be in pain again. but she said she would do anything in the world to rock him to sleep, smell his hair just once more. So I don't mind that my baby girl can only go to sleep in my arms or my husbands and has to sleep sandwiched between us to feel safe. There are far worse things I could think of…I just had diareah of the mouth all over your blog! so sorry …I'm new to this, so I probably just committed a major blog party foul. LOVE YOU!!!

  15. I love your perspective because it is filled with conviction! Love your passion and heart and that you're deciding what kind of mom you want to be, not just letting life happen to you. Beautiful. And you won't make all the right decisions. It's impossible. But God fills in our deficits and uses our mistakes for His good purposes. You're giving everything you have to the gifts he's given you and also listening to His voice. That's all you need to do, sister. micah 6:8 says it all.

  16. Dorry says:

    Beautiful post, Casey! Truly inspiring. Billy and I don't have kids yet, but I've watched my sisters both become moms. One of them stays home, one goes to work. I know everyone has different views about it, but I LOVE how much you honor your children and the time you get to spend with them. It's precious! That's what life is about.

  17. Alyss says:

    I'm crying over here. Thanks for reminding me to keep it all in perspective. My boy is my world. The last thing I need to do is to get frustrated with him or to fuss over schedules, lack of sleep, or trying to go by the book. I often think of all the women throughout history who never had access to what "the books" say we should be doing with our kids.

    I needed to read this today. Thanks for sharing!

  18. Kristin says:

    Can't put into words just how much I agree with you. I always tell people that being pregnant, giving birth, and raising our little guy is easy. It's the other parts of life that are hard! I LIVE for this little person, all of his boogers, giggles, needs and wants are my life. He can nap in my arms, eat from my plate, grab my hand and lead me away from the computer anytime. I will save the "me time" for when he's in college.

  19. Kristin says:

    Can't put into words just how much I agree with you. I always tell people that being pregnant, giving birth, and raising our little guy is easy. It's the other parts of life that are hard! I LIVE for this little person, all of his boogers, giggles, needs and wants are my life. He can nap in my arms, eat from my plate, grab my hand and lead me away from the computer anytime. I will save the "me time" for when he's in college.

  20. I love your perspective because it is filled with conviction! Love your passion and heart and that you're deciding what kind of mom you want to be, not just letting life happen to you. Beautiful. And you won't make all the right decisions. It's impossible. But God fills in our deficits and uses our mistakes for His good purposes. You're giving everything you have to the gifts he's given you and also listening to His voice. That's all you need to do, sister. micah 6:8 says it all.

  21. Kjohnson says:

    Such good advice! I'm not a mom yet but I will be someday. I know that when the chance comes for me to actually have babies I will be more relaxed like you. Time flies and tomorrow is never promised:) Love your perspective, thanks for sharing. Also can I just state how freaking rockstar this picture is? UGHH I am obsessed (not in a weird way) I love it!!

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