guess.

May 17, 2012

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I still drive my same car that I got when I was 16. 
I turn 29 next month, so my black 4 runner and I have been through a lot together. 
Often times when I am driving, I glance in the rear view mirror at my two sweet faces sitting behind me and think...

little did I know. Little did I know when I was 16 and driving around for the first time...or packing up my car heading down to Waco for my first semester at Baylor....little did I know that I'd be cruisin' around years later, a changed heart, a changed life- and 2 sweet little souls in those same seats. 
Crushed goldfish in the car carpets, a double stroller in the trunk, little finger print smudges on the windows- 
how full my heart would be.

At my parent's house, the room looks different (my old room) then when I grew up there..but there is a reminder of a once small girl that lived in that room. 
My glow in the dark stars still stuck to the ceiling. 
The same ceiling I stared up at night after night as a young girl...through broken hearts and late night homework sessions. 
Now sometimes Aiden, Ains and I will be playing in that room, look up at those same stars- and oh how my life has changed.

I never knew what being a mom and a wife and really the last 5 years of growth would bring me. 
But I can tell you that it's been beautiful.
Sometimes mess brings beauty.

I love being a wife. And I love being a mom. I ask Aiden all the time
 " do you know how much I love being your mom? Can you feel it in your heart?"

I want him to feel it, to see it. 
Chris and Ainsleigh too. 
Before I got married words of affirmation was huge to me (from the book 5 love languages) but now years later it means almost nothing. 
It's near the end of the list.

I don't want words.
I want to see it, feel it.

And same goes for them.
 I want them to see it.
 Feel it.

Thankful for every event that has shaped me until now, even the devastating ones. 
They have taught me so much about life. 
And love. 
And how to love people.
How to show grace.
How to give.

It's made me a better mother, a better wife.
Still learning though. And still changing.

I'm forever thankful for that.

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cowl c/o: melodyjoy1983

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48 comments:

  1. Such a sweet sharing of your heart. You are such a blessing to your family and me!

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  2. "mess brings beauty." mmhmm. this is loveliness. every word.

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  3. You have such a beautiful soul. I completely agree. I've changed so much in the past 5 years & even though it was a mess I'm so thankful for where I am now. Beautiful post. <3 Kelly

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  4. Love this. I'm definitely forever thankful for the changes in my heart and life over the past five years too!

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  5. Such beautiful words. I feel such love and contentment when reading your writing. So talented!

    MUCH love.

    -Tori
    torigjohnson.blogspot.com

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  6. oh no, you're going to need a bigger car right?

    I'm so scared of getting pregnant again lol, we'd have to find a new home and I'd need a new car and i'm sooo close to paying it off

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  7. beautiful, case!!!! love this :)

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  8. LOVE this post, and so stealing that question and posing it to my boys tomorrow over breakfast...
    love your words and your thoughts and feelings on life and love
    ~Jazzmine~

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  9. LOVE this post, and so stealing that question and posing it to my boys tomorrow over breakfast...
    love your words and your thoughts and feelings on life and love
    ~Jazzmine~

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  10. "Sometimes mess brings beauty." I love this. Especially on really rough days like this. It reminds me that we can take the mess in our lives, and if we are willing to persevere, we can make beauty out of it.

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  11. Beautifully written Cassie. You have such a kind soul, love it :)

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  12. What you wrote is great. Kind of inspiring actually :)

    xo,
    janmloves.blogspot.com

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  13. That is such a beautiful post!


    http://sheepy.me

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  14. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Loved it! I can relate, as I'm sure most women can :)

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  15. I love being a wife too and can't wait to be a mum. My heart has never been fuller.

    Great post.

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  16. beautiful post. I love the "mess brings beauty." I love being a mother too. God has filled my life with my 4 blessings. And my heart overflows with the awe of it.

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  17. casey!! you are soo tan, im jealous. and your outfits and hair are STUNNING. <3

    x.

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  18. i love this.
    funny, we just took my 6 month old son to the zoo.
    it was the same zoo i went to for the first time.
    i kept thinking how could so much change in such a short time; or what feels like a short time.
    i fee the same way.
    my heart is sooo full. i can only imagine as we grow our family how much more full it is going to be.

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  19. U brought tears to my eyes, so beautiful, and love ur outfit...

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  20. This is so beautiful. <3

    hugs,
    ~bree

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  21. I love that you drive the same car and can see where your life has take you now~ so far from that sweet sixteen. Feeling love from your babies must be so beautiful. I am anxious for that kind of love.

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  22. You have such a beautiful heart Casey! I love this post and you look so gorgeous! Your little ones (and hubby) are so lucky to have you (and vise versa)!

    Lots of love xo
    --kendall

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  23. Love this post! I've been doing a lot of reflecting recently too, and feeling similar things. Your blog is so encouraging, Casey.
    xo
    Jess

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  24. Tears flowing. This post touched my heart...I, too, often glance over my shoulder and think of all that has changed since I first sat behind the wheel of my Rendevouz. 7 years later the back seat is occupied by two beautiful littles instead of my gigantic chocolate lab (he has been bumped to the wayyy back nowadays lol). Thank you for bringing these beautiful words to the page today. It is such a gift to start off the day with a heart full of gratitude. xoxo.

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  25. Casey that is SO beautiful. I can relate to how you want to FEEl it...so true. Have a beautiful weekend! xo

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  26. I so had to smile when I read about your car! I've had the same car for 10 years! Got it my senior year in High School and I really feel like I'm going to have a hard time getting rid of it someday. We've been through a lot together ;)

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  27. Loved reading this. Your style is awesome!

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  28. I haven't been a follower for that long, but your writing is so heartfelt and so beautiful. I can only hope to share the love for the children I hope to have as much as you do with yours.

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  29. such a sweet post! i love this, girl. happy weekend!

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  30. That was beautiful! I know I don't even know you, but I can definitely see your beauty and love inside and out! Your family is very blessed to have you! I am a mommy of two with a little one on the way, just like you! Being a Mom is amazing! Thanks for your sweet words!

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  31. first of all, miss teeny tiny..... well, that's it :)

    it's funny that you talk about your 1st car. I have been holding out and holding out on getting rid of my car. It makes me so sad. But she's falling apart, literally. Unsafe for driving anymore. but I don't want to give her up!

    love your mama stories, they are the sweetest <3 and love you, sugar!

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  32. sometimes mess brings beauty.

    Thank you for this. For your heart. Your words. Your YOU.

    Aloha,
    Nicole
    localsugarhawaii.com

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  33. casey this i such a beautiful post.

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  34. SO AWESOME to see growth and healing and truth from the hand of God. Wow. How He is using your life. Praise Him!!!! Love getting to watch Him move in your life, Case. xoxo

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  35. I can so relate to that. Especially when I go back "home" it will always be home. I struggle with infertility and I dream about kids coming with me back "home" my parents will always be home...always :)

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  36. what a beautiful blog and passage. i'm moved.

    - kw, ladiesinnavy

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  37. you are quite the writer. it was a great "welcome" to your blog. i'm glad sydney featured you on thedaybook. :)

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  38. I'm a new follower :) Love this post!

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  39. I absolutely LOVE this. I tend to go through little phases of feeling all nostalgic about where my life has taken me, and how if someone had told 9 years ago that the gorgeous boy I used to talk to when I was out in bars at university, would be my husband and the father of my babies, I would have probably laughed and refused to believe it.
    Life is a fantastic, crazy and unpredictable journey, but a beautiful one when you think about all the adventures you get to experience. X

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  40. I'm a new follower. I love this post. I can't wait for the day that I have kids and only can hope that I am full of this much love as you!

    xo,

    cate

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  41. Love the vibrant colors of your outfit and this photography is gorgeous! Now following :)

    ~Jacy

    http://laviedelenore.blogspot.com

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  42. You made my hear smile! Thanks :)

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  43. Casey, beautiful words. You have great expression in your words, especially when it comes to the people you love. You've created a beautiful space here. I am a new follower, and new to this blogosphere that I'm quickly coming to love! I want to let you know that I grabbed a button :) Come check out my sight once in a while.

    xo
    ~Yesenia

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  44. Casey, beautiful words. You have great expression in your words, especially when it comes to the people you love. You've created a beautiful space here. I am a new follower, and new to this blogosphere that I'm quickly coming to love! I want to let you know that I grabbed a button :) Come check out my sight once in a while.

    xo
    ~Yesenia

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  45. Beautiful words as always Casey- and I love to look back on the little memories- nostalgia is the best. x

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  46. Love Love Love this post! :) SO much how I feel about becoming a wife and a mother, put beautifully!

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