motherhood for me

October 24, 2012

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Lunchtime. 
Sweet baby Apple was sound asleep and my two "big" kids were eating at the table. I was sitting between them and after a few moments Ainsleigh creeped over and climbed up on my lap. She was facing towards me and grabbed my cheeks, looked me straight in the eyes and smiled....over and over again in between kisses on my cheeks. 

Something about the way the sun was shining behind her, something about those sweet dimples that she has.

Something about the way her tiny fingers were stroking my hair and clinging to me.
Something about the way she clenches on when she thinks I am about to get up.
She, too, wants it to last.

I desperately wanted to jump up and grab my camera but I didn't. I held her tight. Soaked it in. And am doing the best job that I can right now to repaint it as a memory.

The weather here in Texas is changing. 
I love the fall. I love the chiminea burning on the back porch. 
and the leaves that are beginning to fall. 
it nudges at my soul.  

My "little" brother Travis moved back to Dallas and got to come over and meet Apple today for the first time. It's been a long time since we have lived in the same city...it'll be wonderful to have him here now. I loved watching my kiddos  spending  time with him. The same "little guy" that sang into hairbrushes with me is now a man. 

Today I was thinking.
Recently I had to take a personality test for some "work" related things. We wanted to see where we fit best on our team and what roles we could easily be in. There were so many things about the test that were so eye opening for me to read and see written out on paper.

Something that really struck me though was what my results said about me as a mother.

*help their children become who they really are
*support their children's creativity and originality 
*are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings

I have no idea if my kids would actually say these things about me or if someday these are ways that they would talk about me as a mother...but I sure hope so.

I desperately want to embrace my babies as individuals...I want to help each one in their own way figure out their purpose, their passions and foster that.

I want them to feel deeply, and learn that it's okay. I want them to learn to express that.

Motherhood for me is such a joy. 
A "life giver". 
I can hardly believe it's going as fast as it is.

I just hope that I can help my babies find their life purpose...and help them make it happen.  

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20 comments:

  1. i'm not a mother yet but it makes me happy when i see mothers who are brought joy by being a mother. and the bit about your mother embracing your creativity is something that really touched me. that was definitely my mother, i probably would have never reached my creative capability had it not been for her (and my dad!). till this day i credit a lot to them..i'm sure your children will feel the same way :)

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  2. Apple is precious... and love that you just soaked it up ;-) I havent picked up my camera in probably a week... my iphone, yes ;-) [instagrammm] but camera, no. To much work hehe. Hope to crack it out this weekend tho.. when I have a bit more energy and a husband around to help hehe. Glad you are doing well!

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  3. what a beautiful post, casey! again, you've moved me and set such an example of what a wonderful wife and mama looks like. just love your heart and loved meeting you at influence! xo.

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  4. That moment is so precious and makes me so excited for my little one to arrive in 10.5 weeks! :) your children are beautiful!

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  5. Beautiful thoughts from a beautiful person, as always. I hope I am that kind of mother, too. :)

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  6. So absolutely beautiful. Motherhood looks good on you. :)

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  7. i'm a new mother and i have been having so many of those moments with my little guy lately. where he'll pull my face to his and plant big sloppy kisses, moments where he's looking around the room and his gaze falls on me and he breaks out in a crazy grin, and the time at night where he's done nursing and just lets out a huge, content sigh and lays his head on my shoulder. it melts my heart, and i just pray that I can bless him as much as he's already blessed me!

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  8. That last picture of Apple.... So so precious and just shows how fast she's growing! Beautiful words, and I'm sure you will have a lovely legacy left behind for your beautiful kids!

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  9. cheers to being a mama! You wear it well and your words are beautiful.

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  10. i like this one alot. I want to be able to do that for my future kids someday... blessed girl

    ♥CheChe

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  11. I hope you realize that you are making Mamas want to be better. You are making us stop in our tracks and take it in, appreciate it more, love them more. You are helping this Mama... Thank you sweet lady. Love to you and those babies.

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  12. I just love your posts. I don't have any kids yet, but I relate to what you said. Sometimes, I wanna grab my phone or my camera to register a moment, but then I stop and force myself to enjoy it.

    Your family is so beautiful!

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  13. Beautiful Post. Thanks for sharing :)
    Hope you're all well. Sarah xox
    www.whimsicalmumblings.blogspot.co.uk

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  14. Amen! This is precious Casey!

    WOuld you mind sharing the link to that 'test' you took. I'd love to do it myself!

    Beautiful pictures as always!

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  15. I love this post! As I drove to work this morning, I thought about the sweet kissies my son saves only for me. There's nothing more special than the gift of being a mother.

    Vonae Deyshawn
    www.myvirtueplace.com

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  16. This post makes my heart flutter :)
    It makes me look forward to being a mother that much more. I can't wait for my child to sit in my lap. I can't wait to look into my baby's eyes and know what I mean to them.
    :)

    xoxo
    Sarai

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  17. Precious post as always :) I love your raw and genuine voice. I also hope that I'm half the momma that it is evident you are to your children :)

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  18. You are such a amazing mama girl! Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise!

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  19. You have a beautiful heart, Casey! But that is nothing new. Hugs to your wonderful family. So enjoy that you share those moments with us all.
    xoxo j
    http://jessicaiswriting.wordpress.com/

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  20. you are such and inspiration to this mama. thank you. xo

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