my little boy.

April 15, 2013



 Yes. Each of my children capture me in their own way. Each moves my soul like music on a perfect day. 

Yesterday I sat in the backyard, the hot sun on my back and was digging my hands deep into the soil searching for worms & "stinky" bugs as Aiden says. He kept encouraging me. "Mom you are doing such a good job." We would inspect the doodle bugs and we choose which leaves and sticks would be best for the afternoon in their little jars. 

The day I found out I was having a little boy I dreamed of these days. I dreamed of toy cars and hot summer days digging for worms. 

I knew it would be magical. 

I didn't know he would call me a princess when I put on a maxi dress.
I didn't know that he would tell me that he missed me when I started to get ready to leave for a quick trip to the grocery store or be the one who would cry saying goodbye as I stepped out of the car to leave on a jet plane.

I didn't know that he would ask me questions like " how do you think God knew I wanted you to be my mom?"

One of my dearest friends told me this year...age 4... would be the year that he would step out on his own a bit more. Of course I want him to grow and thrive and change and become. Become the boy and the man that God has created him to be. But oh how I will desperately miss these days. 

I am such a child at heart and being around these tiny, precious souls filled with wonderment and innocence is like medicine to my very being. I am so in love with them.

SO much of me is in Aiden. 

Little man, you have me. My whole heart. 

Trying desperately to love over here with open hands and not try to squeeze the very last breath out of this beautiful time. 

38 comments:

  1. how precious!

    http://therealfoodrunner.blogspot.com

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  2. His face in that picture is just too cute. Such a little sweetie!

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  3. Sweet! I love that he asked you how God knew he wanted you. Utterly special. I have an 18 month-old and one due in July and I savor each and every sweet, sweet moment of my day with my little girl. It's such a wonderful blessing being a parent! Now, if only my point-n-shoot could produce the quality of photos that your camera does....

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  4. How about I'm kind of sobbing. What a sweet little soul in that precious little body! My baby boy is 13 months and he just "learned" how to kiss a few days ago. I can't help but tear up out of happiness each time he gives me a little smoocher!

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  5. LOVE this post!! There is something crazy special about a little boy and his mama! Love you!

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  6. My son is 5 almost six and he is exactly like that. When I call him from work I hear 'mwah' followed with 'mum, mum did you hear that I gave you a kiss'. He might not grow out of it, maybe you and I will always be their first loves. Sometimes it is too much and smoothers me, but for the most part I do adore it.

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  7. This pulls at my heart strings! I am pregnant with my first, and it is a boy... so excited! Thank you for this post!

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  8. so darling. I love the part where he calls you Princess. I cannot wait for those days.

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  9. This post just made me cry!! I feel the same way about my little man. :-)

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  10. I love being a boy mom! I always thought I'd want daughters above all, but God knows me best and picked my son perfectly. I love to hear him express his love and what he's learning, and now to see him talk to baby brother in my belly! Yes, these times are to savor.

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  11. So sweet ! It's amazing and scary at the same time how fast they grow up !

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  12. This gets me excited for my little man. He's only 10 months old. I have a 2 1/2 year old girl and already seeing her independence grow each day. I'm still trying to figure out attaining a satisfying hug from my kids with out squeezing too hard too ;)

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  13. My baby boy just had his third birthday over the weekend! I posted about how I was feeling about it, being a mother is such a mix of bitter sweet sometimes, mostly sweet, but so hard to let them go...

    http://www.thehodgepodgediaries.com/2013/04/the-little-moments-and-birthday-boy.html

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  14. Perfect. Casey, you are such a sweet soul. I just want to hug you. I was working on a post tonight about how precious my kiddos are to me. The love I feel for them is too impossible to describe. My son Eli is my oldest (8 now... Sigh) and is such a Momma's boy. I love it. I see so much of me in him. As he's gotten older he's become more independant, but he still loves me something fierce and I'm his favorite girl at the end of the day. If only that would last forever! That Aiden of yours is darling. Enjoy this year with him, friend! Hugs!

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  15. Ugh-make me cry! I have three sweet little boys and to hear you say he calls you a princess when you wear a maxi dress hits home. Boys ARE magical and mine always make me feel like the queen...especially when I'm in a dress or paint my nails. ;)

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  16. What a beautiful post. I have 2 girls and a boy & I never dreamed how kind, sweet and sensitive he would be. He's such a beautiful soul

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  17. Awe. This post brought tears to my eyes. So sweet. I want to have a little boy first too and cannot wait to dig and look for worms with him. (Even though, now, I think that's gross.) Glad you're cherishing these moments.

    -Chelsea
    chelsandthecity.blogspot.com

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  18. "How do you think God knew I wanted you to be my mom?"

    I DIED! SO ADORABLE!

    -Lindsey

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  19. He calls you a princess...I choked up when I read this. As a mom of 2 baby girls, I pray daily for the men they will marry one day. Sounds like Aiden is wise beyond His years...a child after God's heart. I truly hope that my girls marry men who were just like your Aiden when they were little-with moms who taught them to take on the world with open arms. Thanks for sharing-this is such an encouraging blessing. God Bless!

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  20. This is beautiful Casey. I am pregnant with my first now and I am already teaching myself to love these moments that I am in right now. The moments where I am growing this precious little bugger. <3

    xx Lynzy

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  21. I absolutely love having a little boy. He just turned one and every day just gets more and more fun and perfect.

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  22. " how do you think God knew I wanted you to be my mom?" -- Awww!!! An adult must have been trapped inside your precious little boy's body. <3 :-)

    in a different place

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  23. Awe how sweet to call you a princess. My little boy does that too! I have a daughter and a son, and it is so amazing what they each bring to my life.

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  24. Awe, my little guy calls me princess too!melts my heart! love the adventures that my little boy brings to my life

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  25. Hes such a gorgeous little boy, I'm sure you will always be princess in a maxi dress :)

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  26. Oh what a sweet, sweet post. Your boy has such a tender heart. Thanks for sharing:)

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  27. Beautiful, as always, Casey. What a sweet little guy you have there. There's nothing wrong with squeezing every now and then, too ;)

    xo

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  28. love this post. "how do you think God knew?" oh brought tears to my eyes!

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  29. My little boy will be here in less than 4 months and I look forward to getting dirty with him someday and hope he cherishes me as much as Aiden does you!

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  30. This post is so beautiful. I have two girls and a boy. My son will be three next month. I am so in love with him and all the raw boyness he's brought into my life. He tells me I'm pretty when I put my earrings in or wear a dress/skirt.

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  31. I read your blog that I love everyday, and even though it moves me, I don't leave messages often.
    I am just so touched by what you wrote in this post. I'm expecting my first child and I can't wait to live everyday loving him, or her more and more. I'd like to be the mom you are.
    Thank you for your inspiration.

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  32. Beautiful, I have a little boy and sums it up perfectly, so special x

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  33. Beauiful.

    I am at that stage where I have big(full grown)boys and little boys. I love my big boys with all my heart but miss the little boys they used to be SO badly!

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  34. Oh Casey,
    My little baby boy is 6 months old already. My heart wells up every time I look at him.
    Right now, he needs me.
    I am his world.
    Every time we make eye contact, his little face lights up, his smile is indescribable, and his eyes will frantically search for me whenever I leave his view.
    I am soaking up every second of his tiny soul right now, but I know there will come a time when he will no longer physically need me, and that breaks my heart right now.
    I know it is silly because he will always 'need' me.
    I am his mama and I'll always be there.
    But right now, it's different.
    It's genuine. It's pure.
    Being a mama makes feelings, and love, and vulnerability so much more intense.
    It's terrifying what this amount of love, and type of love, does to your heart.
    Loved this post.
    xo

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  35. Casey, Thank you for pouring your heart and your soul in your writing. I try to read your blog as often as I possibly can. For a working from home mom of 2 todders Akemi (2) and Lucca (4) life is HECTIC to say the least, but i try in my little windows of free time to do something I like such as reading your blog. You are an inspiration, because like you I'm an artist, a graphic designer and a Christ follower. I daydream about doing something i love in design while honoring him and serving him at the same time. Striving to be godly is my everyday goal, in everything I do, as a wife, at home with my kids, with my work...Tired most of the time, I turn to God for the energy of life and to my kids to put a smile on my face. Let me know if you are ever in Miami, I'm originally from Peru, living in the US for the last 13 years. yukikodesigns@gmail.com
    Thank you for sharing your experience as a mom of a 4 year old boy, i'm so in love with mine, he moves my soul in the most deepest way i have ever experienced. Most recently he prayed for me so my terrible migraine would go away and with such convincing words he told me "Tomorrow you will be healed". I woke up the next day without a trace of migraine after dealing with it for over a week. His faith, his heart, his mind blows me away and humbles me at the same time. My daughter (Akemi) teaches me about sweetness, no matter how tired you are there's always time to show love, specially with kisses while cuddling... That's my life in a nutshell. Would love to share some of my work with you sometime. God bless you and your family!

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  36. oh my...I can totally relate to this post. I have two little boys (one is 4 and one is 6) and another little boy on the way in May. My 4 year old seems to say the same sort of things to me and I melt all the time. The other day he told me that he picked me to be his mommy and that he did a good job. Awwwww...my heart! We're both redheads and he says, "mommy, will baby Drew be one of us". He loves the fact that we look so much alike.

    I never want him to change. I'm scared for the day when he doesn't want to cuddle me anymore or sit on my lap or take my face in his hands and kiss all over me. Cherish this time! It sure goes by way too quickly!

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