we remember you.

October 15, 2013



(picture is me pregnant with our precious rainbow baby Apple)


The truth is I have been putting this off, I was sort of going to "breeze by" today and not mention it. But as I sat down to work on a blog post for tonight, I thought...the babies lost deserve it. They deserve to be remembered, to be celebrated. 

Addison deserves it. He deserves me to revisit the heartbreak and light a candle and relive the dream we had for that precious life.

4 little "A's" still hang from Chris' necklace. A daily reminder that we have 4 precious babies. 


The one who didn't walk here along side of me, but that one that forever changed my life. 
A brief life yet so much meaning.

October 15.

Addison, sweet baby... I haven't forgotten. Who I am is different because of the impact you had on my life. The sweet whisper that came and left. A day doesn't go by that I don't remember you. 

So many sweet ladies out there suffer in silence. You aren't alone. 
The candle burns in sweet remembrance of our baby. For your baby. For all the ones that went straight to the feet of Jesus. There are moments, moments that take my breath away... a glimpse that he hasn't been forgotten. A little life that impacted so many so quickly. 

I love you baby A. Our family cannot wait to squeeze you so tight one day. I know that I will recognize you in an instant love. I can see you leaning up on a wall, smiling with the same adorable smirk Chris & Aiden give me. 

You are so precious to me. I love you. 
Heaven is holding you tight for me till I get there love. 

66 comments:

  1. That will be a beautiful day of reunion, Casey! Instant love. xo

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  2. Beautiful. Love this. We love our sweet baby that won't be forgotten too. Thank you for sharing and prayers for your family today!

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    1. thank you so so much friend, thinking of your sweet one as well, xoxo

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  3. Beautiful! Love this! We have a sweet baby that won't be forgotten too. Thank you for sharing and prayers for your family today!

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    1. I opened the floodgate of my tears too :(

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  5. Thank you for having the courage to share this today. You are truly a beautiful soul Casey!

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    1. that means so much to me, thank you love

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  6. I haven't lost a baby but my mom did before me, and I've spent my whole life knowing about them and looking forward to the day when I get to meet those big sisters of mine.

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    1. oh my goodness this made me cry, beautiful!!!

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  7. Made me tear up. You are right, you will see your sweet baby again, and he will be yours to keep forever. xoxo

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    1. ah tears, so grateful for this precious comment!

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  8. Though we've never met, your baby Addison was one of the names I prayed as I lit a candle tonight. I'm glad you ended up writing something. Hugs.

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    1. oh my goodness so many tears of this, from the bottom of my heart thank you

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  9. Dear Casey, I weep alongside you dear mama. Having never known October 15 is Rembrance day every year for baby and infant loss we lost 3 of our 7 children. 1 on this day. Heavens playground is resounding with sounds of our children being loved so tenderly. Thank you for this courageous post.

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    1. oh my goodness this is so so incredibly beautiful, thinking of you tonight mama

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  10. What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing. At a young friends memorial, someone spoke and said that sometimes when the young are lost its because their souls were too big for this world. He wanted them by His side. It definitely made sense for her and it comforted me. Maybe it relate here too. Love and prayers for you and your babes.

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  11. Casey,

    I was hoping that you'd write today.

    Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I want to let you know that your strength in sharing your story provided me with the backbone to share mine, too. http://www.travel-babbles.com/2013/10/our-baby-will-always-be-our-favorite.html

    It's strange, and I hope this isn't totally weird (haha!) ... but whenever I'm having a really tough day wrapping my brain around my loss, my thoughts go to you and how you were able to conceive again ... and it gives me hope that you were able to safely carry sweet Apple and bring her into this world.

    Your words are so inspiring - thank you again for sharing your story and for being a voice who breaks the silence of miscarriage. xo

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    1. wow your post is beautiful and that just touched me more than you can know... I feel like sweet Apple is SUCH a symbol of hope in my heart and it blesses me so much to know she could be for someone else too. Sure love you friend, so so grateful that you wrote...so very grateful right now

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  12. Beautiful words.
    It's crazy how many women have silently trodden this same road.
    If only we could speak more of these lost babies who leave such a heavy mark on our hearts.

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  13. You have so much beauty and courage, beautiful girl!

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  14. As I was looking through my prayer book the other day I found your name in it. I came upon a long letter to the Lord asking him to watch over you and your sweet babies including your sweet Addison and then your precious Apple. You are so brave and giving with the stories you share on here. I truly believe you have changed peoples life's with your giving open heart. Bless you and your wonderful family and to the day you get to see your sweet Addison! What a wonderful day that will be!
    Big love!
    xoxo

    -Lindsay

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    1. okay friend this made me cry so hard, thank you so so much for those sweet words and sweet prayers....means more than you know

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  15. Makin' me cry...remembering my two little ones.

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  16. Last Wednesday, we lost our baby. I struggle to keep it all together daily, but I want you to know that your blog has helped me through this grieving process. My best friend led me here, and seeing your story inspired me to write about my little girl on my blog. Thank you for your love and your prayers. For women like me who have extremely fresh wounds, it's a healing balm to the heart to read your precious words.

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    1. oh goodness, I know that I don't have the right words to say.. I am so so so so sorry. I am so sorry you know what it feels like :(. I appreciate you so much being so sweet and encouraging to me. It blessed me more than youll ever know friend.

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  17. Dear Casey!
    Thank you for being so open and honest about your loss, hurt and your grieving... You are truly an inspiration! I love reading your blog and knowing that you are a follower of Jesus too
    Stay strong and continue being a blessing

    happymedley.blogspot.com

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  18. I love how candid you are about your loss, Casey. I'm with you on this. It's been many years since my miscarriage, but I still cry about it and think of my precious baby in heaven all of the time. Although I have four beautiful, healthy children here on earth... I haven't forgotten. Lots of love to you and your sweet littles.... xo, sara

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  19. Crying as I read this. Our own sweet little left this world in May to go meet Jesus. A baby we never got to meet, but a baby we loved so dearly.

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  20. beautifully said friend. thinking about you & crying tears for baby addison. what a special baby. i love you words. love you!

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  21. I have several friends remembering their babies today, and I feel my heart breaking for them. I shared my daughter's story on your last link up a couple days ago (the first time I've ever done that, scary!) Sharing a personal story; such as losing a baby, felt so vulnerable to me; but as I've shared my story I've found so many other people who have gone through similar situations and I am humbled by their bravery and sweet spirits. Your words and blog offers great support me, and brings so many people together. Thank you for being such a great inspiration!

    Millee-Margaret.blogspot.com

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  22. I am so sorry for your loss and for the losses of the other mamas reading this. My heart hurts for you and with you. Today I am missing my little boy, who was stillborn. How amazing it is to have the faith and belief that our little ones are safe in the arms of Jesus. I can't wait to see my little boys eyes and smile!

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  23. What a sweet tribute to your precious babe.

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  24. I bet that instead of "Peter Rabbit," God read sweet Addison this tonight. Can't wait to see all 6 of the Weigands together in heaven one day!

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  25. I bet that instead of "Peter Rabbit," God read sweet Addison this tonight. I can't wait to see all 6 of the Wiegands together in heaven one day!

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  26. As I'm preparing for my father's death, he's been terminally ill from cancer for the last six years, my heart goes out to you. I cannot even imagine what life would be like to lose a child. The love that continuously grows along with the baby inside of you is undescribable. God bless sweet Addison and know she's looking down on you and seeing what a great mother you are.

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  27. Beautifully written! Every life is worth celebrating - whether they walked this earth or not! My sister recently had a miscarriage and I have been praying for words to tell her. Thank you for posting this - there is a reason to CELEBRATE the little ones who went straight to heaven. Love!

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  28. Thank you for posting. You made this mama who has lost her sweet baby feel not so alone in all of this. As we grieve the reality that our baby can't be here in our arms, thank you for the reminder that our babies are in the arms of Jesus. What a beautiful place to be. xo

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  29. Oh, Casey. I can't wait until you can squeeze and kiss on that precious little boy. xo.

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  30. Ah this post got me! Tears welled up reading this post.... Someday, far down the road, you'll all be together in one safe and happy place... Until then, hold on to those precious moments and memories, they will never leave you.
    My very best wishes to you and yours <3
    xo
    Lindsay

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  31. I haven't lost a child, but it wasn't until I had my third daughter that I learned my mom lost seven babies before I took hold and didn't let go. And just a few short months after my birth, my brother appeared and held on strong as well. So we grew up as 2 instead of 9. When I think about it, I hope that we'll all be like my mom and her siblings, because their love and joy and friendship is so awesome and unique, and when I get to meet my brothers and sisters someday, I want that for us.

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  32. Casey, this was beautiful, I'm proud of you for sharing your story - you are so strong. Much love. xoxo Katie

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  33. Crying, so sweet. Thank you for baring your heart and allowing other families to connect with you. It is always encouraging knowing that you are not alone.

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  34. thank you! these babies that can't be with us, are serving a different purpose. they are running with other dear loved ones that have also made their way to heaven. I find some peace that my dad dad (rip) has a couple of his grandchildren with him if they couldn't be with me!

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  35. thank you! these babies that can't be with us, are serving a different purpose. they are running with other dear loved ones that have also made their way to heaven. I find some peace that my dad dad (rip) has a couple of his grandchildren with him if they couldn't be with me!

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  36. I have always loved Watermark. Such a beautiful song and heavenly reminder.

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  37. thank you for sharing this...April 25th (the day I lost our first little one at 11 weeks) and Nov. 12th (the little ones due date) will forever be dates that I remember. thank you for remembering that all lives are important...no matter how short!

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  38. Remembering my two sweet babies everyday....and especially today.

    Hugs,
    Rachel

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  39. I love your words here Casey, so beautiful. Your sweet baby will be waiting for you in Heaven. What a blessing from God that is!

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  40. It is so good to remember. And you're right; your baby's life changed yours, without ever having to know sin or pain or the darkness of this world. Precious soul.
    Our church experienced a sudden death of one of our young pastors this past week, survived by his sweet bride & 3 little boys (5, 3, and 1). A friend said this that I thought was beautiful:
    ". . . .the longer we walk on this planet, the more our hearts are going to break. Pieces chip off here and there, over and over again.
    Yet in that, we have hope. Because there will come a time when our hearts are made completely whole. And in the mean time, the cracks and crevices that this world leaves, are where God’s grace and peace live. This is where His presence takes its deepest root in our lives." - Danielle Cevallos (http://cevallosfamilyadoption.com/)

    Praying grace & peace, friend

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  41. Your courage is so beautiful, even more that your strength shows the glory of God. Thank you for posting this not only for yourself, but also for all the mommy's(myself included) who are waiting to meet our precious babes. I'm praying that your peace and joy would be made full as your remember Addison always.


    <3 Courtnee

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  42. So beautiful. So sorry for your loss but so inspiring to see you so optimistic. I can't imagine losing a baby and I just want to hug you for this. xoxo.

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  43. This is so touching, Casey...

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  44. Thank you for sharing this. You continue to give me hope for Everly and I am moved by your words and love. I will light a candle in memory of your sweet Addison. I feel blessed by you and sending you lots of love today.

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  45. Tears are streaming down my face. My heart is also chattered for the loss of my boy, a pain that has impacted my life in many ways. Life is precious.

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  46. Sweetest babies we haven't gotten a chance to see smile yet. My 2 angels up in heaven are waiting for their dad and I, and the thought of leaving this earth someday no longer frightens me because I know I will finally get to see them. You're right, we aren't alone in our suffering. Thank you for bringing this topic out into the public and helping the rest of us feel that it's okay to express our feelings about our little babes:) My post is late, but, may this coming up October be gentle on your heart!

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