we need our village.

April 03, 2014




 Something unexpected happened over the past year and a half. I gained a few best friends. True, loyal, precious friendships. I gained a best friend that lives miles away in New York. I grew with a friend that I have known since high school and I connected with an unexpected friend. New York seems like a world away sometimes. Today I took the kids to tennis class and I was talking to one of the other moms about feeling isolated sometimes. Sometimes through the chaos of having little ones, the busy days, the hustle of real life...friendships fall by the wayside. Not intentionally, but just as a result of everyday reality. And how in this season, it is when we sometimes need friendship the most. There is so much irony there. We need it the most, yet this is the season it is hardest to cultivate it. And with the inability to cultivate, we lose our friendships. In our desperate moments for a true friend, we are alone.

In a season of life when I ached for community. I had a desire for truth, a desire for laughter and intentionality. An aching for non-rushed conversations, someone who pushed me and knew me.... a true friend. In that season, I started to find it. Friendship is such a gift and I think over the past few years I have realized how much we all need these types of friendships. Not just some obligation...but a true friend. I have a handful of best friends that each have little pieces of me. Girls that have seen me change or have met me after God stepped in and changed my life. Loved me when I was at my worst. The days that I am most embarrassed of who I was, they were there.

I have a few girls that God specifically has used in such powerful ways in my life over the past few years. I think we all need "our people" , the ones that would hop on a plane in a heartbeat to walk along side you through something hard or knows what you need before you know yourself.

Your village, your people.

I honestly feel like up until a couple of years ago I have just been searching for who I was. In this weird place trying to figure out where I fit in, almost searching for someone to tell me- Who am I? Where do I belong? Who will love me? Am I safe here?

In speaking at HopeSpoken, I was able to share a little about my past 9 years. Coming from a life with very little heartache, very little exposure to hurt, loss and trials. The the tides change & 9 years, one thing after the next will change you. It's in a way easy to believe in God's will when life is cake. But through the storms, when you are forced to decide if you believe and choose what you have always said you did, that's when you find your faith. When you discover humility and change. That is when we are most shapable.

This past weekend, I realized again how we are all a bunch of busted, broken, sinners in desperate need of a Savior.  I would have never done and pursued HopeSpoken had it not been for Danielle. Danielle my sweet best friend in New York who I have not one doubt in my mind would drive across the US if I needed her to. She has made this season for me anything but isolated. My other girls too- you know who you are. I am so grateful for how God has specifically used each of them in my life this past year.

Saturday night we were running on a handful of hours of sleep total since Thursday, Danielle came in my room and we laughed until I was dizzy, ate peanut m&ms and somewhere in the middle of the night through conversations of worship, motherhood and change.... I realized how much we need community. We need our village.

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20 comments:

  1. We do need our village. So thankful to have friends who make up my village, and grateful to get to make up others villages too. God doesn't leave us alone.

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  2. Friends are the family we give ourselves. I love that saying. Most of my closest friends I've found in this blog community. I thank Him daily for that family He let me choose for myself. This was a perfect post that I needed to hear tonight. Thx!

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  3. I love you so. I know I am ( and always will be) in a different season of life than you since we can't have kids.. But I want you to know that I will and do love yours with my whole heart. I love you too. I feel an aching in my heart for a friend like you. I want to be that for you if you let me love you. Because if you do, I will love you hard and deep and fierce until my last breath.

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    1. meghan you have the sweetest soul ever, you are such a blessing

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  4. Great post! Friendships are indeed a blessing. Sometime the least expected kindness become the best friendships :)

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  5. Amen sister! It takes a village just to survive life--period. I feel that Women and especially Mothers---need friends. When I served in a youth ministry back when Dan and I were newlyweds---I was asked to speak about friendship to slue of teenagers at a church camp. The only thing I could really think would be a good general topic was “friendship”. So I sat on the stage (because standing and walking around was foreign to me) and had a giant mirror. I asked them what their friendships reflected. (cheesy but simple) I asked them --when they looked in the mirror—who did they see----what did they reflect-----and in their group—their team of friends—what did it show---what did the world see? Did their friendships reflect God, truth, love, support, gossip, hatred, insecurity, eating disorders, popularity, or transparency—were their friendships pure and clear –or where they foggy and dirty. Because life is too short to fake who we are just to be liked ---we are unique—too perfect in His image to conform. That would be a wasted life. Friends are wonderful---but only if they honor the Lord. I’m so happy to hear you have such a humble and fabulous group of God fearing friends! Even if they are all over the globe---that’s pretty awesome too. Love your heart girl!

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  6. i was so blessed to just witness hope spoken through instagram (God bless ig, right). it was too much to go after africa, but i am planning on being there next year. count on it.

    in terms of village-- yes! i feel so strongly about this. so many people-- so many women-- wander through life thinking they are alone, that no one will understand their struggle, their hurt, their sin, etc but we are all so broken and we all so need -- desperately need -- to let our walls down and let others in. life is lonely without a village.

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    1. i love this so much, and love YOU so much friend!

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  7. So beautiful, there is nothing like the perfect people to stand beside you no matter what. I found mine at a low point in life. And the best part is sometime, probably more often than not they are people different then you and perfectly beautiful.

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  8. I read somewhere once that your social life is like the letter U. When you are young, it is high, then it dips down when you are in the crazy busy parent (or career) stages, and then it goes back up when your children are grown and you have a little more time. I think it's nice to know that is typical for many people, and also important to hold on to friendships the best we can during that dip. Beautiful post!
    PS-I'm so impressed with what I've heard about Hope Spoken. It is no easy feat pulling off a major event like that! The pictures looked gorgeous! (You must be really tired ;) )

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  9. Oh this is so so true!!! and you are so sweet, that means so much!!

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  10. Beautiful post, Casey… and so true. So very, very true. I'm deeply aware of my need for community… for more of those dear souls who stick close through thick and thin. Friendship is such a gift and after many dry years and some unhealthy friendships, God is breathing sweet life to new ones, once again. I'm grateful.

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  11. So beautiful, Casey. And so dang true. We need our village more than ever. And to take the time to truly nurture those friendships to make ones that stick. Thank you for the beautiful reminder. ~Jenna // A Mama Collective

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  12. Casey, I love this. I have 2 young boys and truly have struggled with my purpose. Being content in this season of life and being a Mommy. Thank you for this.

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  13. I just love your blog... Do u have insta?

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