Something unexpected happened over the past year and a half. I gained a few best friends. True, loyal, precious friendships. I gained a best friend that lives miles away in New York. I grew with a friend that I have known since high school and I connected with an unexpected friend. New York seems like a world away sometimes. Today I took the kids to tennis class and I was talking to one of the other moms about feeling isolated sometimes. Sometimes through the chaos of having little ones, the busy days, the hustle of real life...friendships fall by the wayside. Not intentionally, but just as a result of everyday reality. And how in this season, it is when we sometimes need friendship the most. There is so much irony there. We need it the most, yet this is the season it is hardest to cultivate it. And with the inability to cultivate, we lose our friendships. In our desperate moments for a true friend, we are alone.
In a season of life when I ached for community. I had a desire for truth, a desire for laughter and intentionality. An aching for non-rushed conversations, someone who pushed me and knew me.... a true friend. In that season, I started to find it. Friendship is such a gift and I think over the past few years I have realized how much we all need these types of friendships. Not just some obligation...but a true friend. I have a handful of best friends that each have little pieces of me. Girls that have seen me change or have met me after God stepped in and changed my life. Loved me when I was at my worst. The days that I am most embarrassed of who I was, they were there.
I have a few girls that God specifically has used in such powerful ways in my life over the past few years. I think we all need "our people" , the ones that would hop on a plane in a heartbeat to walk along side you through something hard or knows what you need before you know yourself.
Your village, your people.
I honestly feel like up until a couple of years ago I have just been searching for who I was. In this weird place trying to figure out where I fit in, almost searching for someone to tell me- Who am I? Where do I belong? Who will love me? Am I safe here?
In speaking at HopeSpoken, I was able to share a little about my past 9 years. Coming from a life with very little heartache, very little exposure to hurt, loss and trials. The the tides change & 9 years, one thing after the next will change you. It's in a way easy to believe in God's will when life is cake. But through the storms, when you are forced to decide if you believe and choose what you have always said you did, that's when you find your faith. When you discover humility and change. That is when we are most shapable.
This past weekend, I realized again how we are all a bunch of busted, broken, sinners in desperate need of a Savior. I would have never done and pursued HopeSpoken had it not been for Danielle. Danielle my sweet best friend in New York who I have not one doubt in my mind would drive across the US if I needed her to. She has made this season for me anything but isolated. My other girls too- you know who you are. I am so grateful for how God has specifically used each of them in my life this past year.
Saturday night we were running on a handful of hours of sleep total since Thursday, Danielle came in my room and we laughed until I was dizzy, ate peanut m&ms and somewhere in the middle of the night through conversations of worship, motherhood and change.... I realized how much we need community. We need our village.