do you see me?

May 15, 2014




For a lifetime I have struggled with this question. Do you see me? For my lifetime. Since a little girl I have placed my worth in the wrong hands and in a losing battle I rip back my trust and worth and place it in the right hands. His hands. Lately when I step into the restroom to get ready in the morning I see a small shadow creep in behind me. Tiny feet tiptoe in and slowly the creaky old door closes next to me. I see her pull up a stepstool and with big, watchful eyes she begins to copy me. Her hair falls sweetly down by her little cheek and with an innocent and hopeful gleam in her eye she asks me, " mama am I beautiful?"

I almost wince as the words leave her lips. She is so beautiful. Her perfect little lips, bright blue eyes and button nose. The way her curls fall perfectly down her back and the sweet sun kissed spots that glow on her cheeks. "Baby girl you are so beautiful. I see you and you take my breath away."

I want her to know that she is beautiful and that I see her and cherish her. But I also want her to know as she grows older that her value rests elsewhere. How do we raise a woman of Godly confidence? As the mama of two little girls I am often more aware of my words and actions. Before when insecurites would hold me back, hold me captive in a prison cell, now I can walk with my head held high. I have little eyes upon me and that is a big responsibility. Little eyes trump insecure.

The time in the morning with my little Ainsleigh is a time I cherish. I can only hope & pray that she will still ask me to brush her hair and have sweet little convos over the bathroom sink as she grows.  Never a moment taken for granted in these sweet shapable years. She loves all things girlie and squeals with excitement as I put sparkles on her cheeks and pink on her toenails. This time opens the floodgates to all kinds of conversations and innocent questions. A curious heart.

Today I had an hour in between things and Chris had an hour before his shoot so I grabbed Ains and took her on a quick date. Chris took Aiden the night before for some one on one time at putt-putt and so we headed out just us girls. The windows down, her golden curls waved in the wind and as I looked in the rearview mirror she held up the sign language sign for I love you.

Baby girl, don't chase what I chased. Don't let the world strip you raw as you try to have all the wrong things tell you your worth. Don't take broken hearts and shattered feelings to land you where you need to be to finally find yourself. Learn from my mistakes. Chase Him. not them.

Audience of one baby girl.

   photo LINKUPBUTTON.jpg

52 comments:

  1. As a mama of a 3.5 little girl who watches and imitates my every move, this post echoes exactly what I want her to learn to know and fully understand...that she is beautiful beyond measure, she is fearfully and wonderfully made and is created for an audience of one!

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  2. She is so beautiful. But it is tough to know how to instil the belief in themselves that while they are truly beautiful, there is so much more that is important too. I don't think I phrased that right, but I know what you mean. I worry about it too:)

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    1. its so hard! thank you for these words friend :)

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  3. Oh my goodness. I can completely relate to this and something that has been so heavy on me lately. As a new mom, of a beautiful baby girl, I want her to know her confidence rests in Him! And pray she doesn't struggle with the battles of insecurity I've struggled with. Hoping the same for your girls too.

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  4. these words are so special. my heart for my little girl (and for our students) is that they do not struggle with the insecurities that I did... what I bought into that wasn't true. that their beauty is found in Him. that their beauty in Christ transcends every insecurity. so encouraging Casey.

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    1. oh amen sister, you said it so beautifully

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  5. This is so beautiful. I just hope that I have a daughter someday :)

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  6. This post moved me. It was just one of those that just sank a little deeper than others. I don't have a little girl, but I feel strongly about this issue. It kills me to know some kids don't have parents like you in their lives..that some go their whole life without hearing the words, "i love you."

    I too, searched for confidence from all the wrong people. Now I can stand and say I feel most confident when I seek Him. When I look in the mirror and truly look to see what He sees.

    Your girls have a great role model. You say that you hope your girls don't have to go through what you did...that you hope they don't look in all the wrong places. It's scary to think that your children will have to go through worldly trials...we want to keep them in a little bubble. Casey, you wouldn't be who YOU are had you not gone through what you did. Your relationship with Him wouldn't be as it is now had it not been for exactly everything you felt and faced. Because of things you went through you will be able to help your children through all kinds of emotions and issues. No other woman's love compares to yours when it comes to Ains and Apple. You are helping to mold them into the exact person He created them to be.

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    1. oh sweet friend, you always know just what I need to hear!!! I hope you got my email, you totally blessed me on Mothers day sister. Thank you for this, appreciate your beautiful words more than you know!

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  7. thank you for sharing this sweet post. i'm not a mother yet but would like to be some day and i've struggled with similar feelings in the past. i hope to be able to raise strong confident daughters. this brought a tear to my eye thinking of you and your sweet children and the mama i hope to be.

    thank you for your blog.

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  8. This is beautiful, Casey. It really hit home for me. Thank you.

    xo, rn

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  9. Oh the part about her holding up the sign language for I love you... melts my heart. I hope someday I can teach my future babes just how beautiful they are in his sight. How he knew them in the womb. Chasing worldly things is a chase that never ends. My hope is in him. What incredible blessings you have & lucky for them for parents who want so desperately to show them God's love in every way.

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    1. oh this is so sweet and beautiful, thank you friend!!

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  10. This is so beautiful. As a teenager I went through things to be noticed, just like you I PRAY daily so that my daughter learns to not let the world strip her raw for her to have all the wrong things tell her worth. "Don't take broken hearts and shattered feelings to land you where you need to be to finally find yourself." beautiful, beautiful so touching my heart.

    This is a sign that the story I'm writing must be told and shared sooner than later.

    Thank you for sharing. Hugs friend :)

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    1. aw just love you friend! and I know, its so hard..I dont even know if you can fully teach it to someone..its like you have to find it within yourself- you are so precious and amazing! love you!

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  11. I used to not want a baby girl because girls have such an uphill battle towards confidence, don't they?! Now I can't imagine life without my daughter but worry about the day when she'll ask these questions. Love the last line of this post. We only ever have an audience of one. Man looks on the outside but the Lord looks at the heart.

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    1. I know it really is such a battle for us girls! phew! thank you for these sweet words!!

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  12. beautifully written, Casey! I hope/pray that I'll one day experience motherhood and teach my children what's truly most important. Thank you for the "audience of one" reminder. <3!

    Blessings.

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  13. This is so beautiful! My whole life I have struggled with self worth and just the overall feeling of being comfortable in my own skin. As a result, I chased worldly things in an effort to try and fit into a mold that He never intended for me. I think it is imperative to be conscious of instilling value into our children so they know who to follow in this world and it sounds like you are doing a great job! Your children are blessed by you!

    EatPrayWearLove

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    1. aw this is so sweet, thank you love!

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  14. Magic, seriously magic. :)

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  15. how wonderful for your children that you have "seen the light" at such an early time in their lives !!
    I want also to comment on the generous kindness you show in promptly addressing your followers comments. Also, hope the girls date was one to cherish.

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    1. aw you are so kind! this means a lot :)

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  16. A to the men!!! preach it! I also have two daughter....I only have nephews and don't get me wrong little boys need encouragement and compliments but not the same way daughters do. I recently band the word FAT in my house...I breaks my heart when my sisters come over and talk about their weight or their looks and my daughters hear or see it....they see women they love and admire putting them selves down. Beauty is from with in....love that you are teaching your daughter to turn to jesus...that is my goal as well.

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    1. aw love you sister! Its so hard right?have a beautiful weekend sweet friend!

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  17. LOVE this post as I have 2 sweet little girls of my own...your words spoke to me and the way you write, well I just adore you! Beautiful picture of your sweet girl!!!

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  18. I absolutely LOVE this post! I am going through questions like this with my beautiful 9 year old daughter! It breaks my heart that she would have any question of her beauty!

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  19. WOW. Beautiful post. Just really amazing. Thank you.

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  20. WOW. Beautiful post. Just really amazing. Thank you.

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  21. I'm a mother of one right now and this post was an encouragement; they truly watch you and what you do from the very beginning! Thank you for your raw and honest heart! Keep glorifying your Father! xoxo

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  22. Beautiful and meaningful post, Casey. I am the mom of a three and four year old boy, but still completely appreciate this.

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  23. Such a beautiful and meaningful post, Casey. I am the mom of a three and four year old boys, but can still totally appreciate this.

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  24. I just love everything you embody as a women and mother. You inspire me so much to be the best mother I can thank you for being you and sharing it with the world :)

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  25. You're such a great mama, Casey. This post is sweet.

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  26. Brilliantly said, Casey. Words I tell my children too. Full approval, love and acceptance is from Our Father alone. We are answerable to Him only. I have to remind myself too of these words often

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  27. Such a great, and inspiring post! Loved reading every bit of it.

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  28. Beautiful. This post filled my eyes with tears as I read it, thinking of my own sweet darling girl. How I pray the same for my daughter. May our beautiful girls know, with confidence, where their value lies and rest in the truth that He tells them!

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  29. I LOVE this. Thanks for that!

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  30. I have 4 daughters so naturally this is a subject close to my heart. My girls, however, have always been quick to say how pretty they, themselves, are. So it has been my mission to encourage this while teaching them that true beauty comes from being kind and loving, traits that God helps us with. I pray that they will always feels beauty and know that their true value comes from knowing that they are fearfully and wonderfully made!

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  31. "Little eyes trump insecure" You are so right:) Thank you so much for sharing - you are truly an inspiration!

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