Tomorrow we move. Months of craziness and uncertainty...tomorrow is a big day. This house came up unexpectedly and I have all the good feelings about this move. I mentioned it before but I can feel the word "freedom" brewing up in my soul. I want to claim it for my word for next year. There has been so so much and I just have such high hopes that the tides are changing, even over the past few months I have had such an overwhelming peace surrounding me. Amidst the chaos there is total peace. A peace that can only be explained by a God who sustains me. A peace that all is His plan, a peace that His purpose is being done and a peace that something great lies ahead.
I really believe that we are going to step into that.
A few mornings ago I had just woken up, I was half awake walking to the kitchen and a text from my dear friend Danielle came in. "Watch immediately" I slid down the wall, sat down on the cold hard wood floor and watched this video. ( video here)
"Push, it's supposed to hurt a little bit."
" God is love. People want love to be unicorns and rainbows. But love is hard, love is sacrifice. Love is not a victory march, love is a cold and broken hallelujah."
" Love is not hearts and bows. Love is controversial."
" In order for forgiveness to really happen, something has to die." Death of expectations.
" Jesus weeps."
I sat on the floor of my kitchen with the pretty morning sunlight starting to gleam through the windows. I traced the shadows with my fingers as I wept a little. There is so much beauty in those words. All of our brokenness translates so differently. All of our hurts and all of our journey looks so very different. But He loves us so. Love doesn't always look like what we want it to look like. But when we realize what love is, what it truly is- there is a change in our hearts. In a lot ways I have experienced God's unwavering love more in the chaotic seasons than in the calm ones.
Movers are coming at 7am so I am off to pack...more soon on our new place :).