I was at church on Sunday and during one of the worship songs I started thinking about my kiddos. Each one individually and how I love them so. Laughing at their little quirks, getting teary at their sweet little selves.
When I was thinking about my Aiden, my first, my tender soul, my mini me. I started thinking about his future wife. How she was probably in a church Sunday School class somewhere in the world right now. How she, in reality, will get to take care of my Aiden for more years than I will. Gulp.
Of course I desperately want that but thinking how fast it goes quickly brings a lump in my throat. I prayed for her. For her heart and her tenderness. That she would love my boy with all her heart and take care of him the way that I do. Better even. Protecting his dreams, shielding his heart, cheering him on constantly. Then my mind shifted to my role as a wife. And how I am that girl that Chris' mama prayed for. The responsibility that I hold, the preciousness of loving someone else well.
I imagine Aiden's wife will adore the same things in him that I do. That she will smile at the same little tender sayings he shares so freely, that she will say she's never going to own a reptile then somehow end up with multiple because when someone you love adores something, you find yourself loving them too. That we will watch old videos of him (now) and how my heart will deep down ache, wishing these moments back- just for a day.
I often look at my girls as they sleep. I realize that someday they will have a spouse that will love them with all that they are, watch them sleep, their beautiful eyelashes fall as they drift off. I hope all their beauty is seen, and I don't just mean their outward beauty. I mean all the beauty that wraps up and makes them, them.
Love is such a beautiful thing. It doesn't always have to look like a fairytale because when you share your life with someone...all of it, the ups the downs- you literally share it all, that is a deeper, more beautiful love than any fairytale. When someone gets to know every tiny bit of who you are, when all the walls come down and the raw you is loved...that, that is beauty.