There are visual reminders of them everywhere.
I mean it's just school, I realize that- but I miss them desperately. Drawings taped by my desk, little toys in piles, their shoes slumped by the back door, the empty carseats.
I worry about them ....are you navigating things without me there? The same worry comes with pride....pride that you both are spreading your wings and growing in new ways...ways that need to happen without me there.
Last year the jump from 2 day kindergarten to 5 day first grade with Aiden stretched me so much. Sometimes I think nothing will stretch me the way that did when it comes to school, we all grew a lot last year.
The hardest, most unexpected part of motherhood for me has been in the letting go. It is so so hard for me to let go of my kiddos. Hard for me to share moments with them. But sometimes loving someone is doing something hard, the best thing for them- even if it hurts me . I KNOW it's best in my heart, but it doesn't make my struggle any less hard.
Reminding myself its a BLESSING to have the opportunity to watch them grow and move through stages. It's a blessing to watch our kiddos gain their independence.
I love you both more than you can imagine. Laying next to you at bedtime, talking through your day...hearing your stories and seeing you grow- those are moments that I will forever hold near to my heart. 3:00 hurry up, we miss you!