February 22, 2018

One of my biggest fears as a mama when my first started kindergarten was not being there in the "hard" moments to process along side them. 

Open hands is always the struggle for me. But the Lord has been sweet and showed me how precious people can walk them through things while they are away. Even just things I think might be "too much for them", then I see them conquer it and am reminded of the beauty in "letting go sometimes".

Same for all my babies. Its still hard but slowly my confidence grows in this arena. 

My eyes are swollen and my head hurts from crying myself to sleep. I know we share lots of beautiful moments of this precious family of mine but I do like sharing the raw and vulnerable too. We have walked countless roads that I've never shared and plenty where I invited you in while we walked through it. There is (somehow) beauty in meeting others where they are at. 

Not walking the hard stuff alone. 

It's been one year now since Aiden's health craziness began. 

Most of the time I stay really strong and hold it all together. But occasionally I have a night where the worry and responsibility and heaviness crushes in and the floodgates swing open. I read something recently about chronic pain and how complicated it is to walk it bc people at some point stop really knowing what to say or what to ask. 

It's hard watching such a tender, precious little boy process so many big things. 

Last night before bed I was able to text with Aidens teacher (have I mentioned that teachers are literally angels?) and process through his little heart and where he's at when he's at school through all of this really hard stuff. Forever proud of how brave our boy is. Thankful for how the Lord is at work and soooo thankful for his school and teacher who is truly a family.

Thankful that we don't have to navigate this story alone.