Addison Wiegand.

September 01, 2011

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Today there was a hurtful finality to our loss. The little baby with no heartbeat was still with me until noon today and now he/she is gone. A lot of how I am feeling and what I have to say is very raw and very real.

Being honest yesterday even with some tears I felt like I needed to be strong. I thought I can't be sad...I have so much to be thankful for and people have suffered many losses like this before...Casey be strong. My mind is able to have good perspective, I know that I am blessed with 2 beautiful babies, I know we have never suffered a miscarriage before or dealt with any kind of infertility but the truth is...
I woke up today hurt, heartbroken, sad, empty. 
I decided today I dont care if anyone out there in the world thinks it is silly that I am sad, devastated, heartbroken over this loss- because I need to be real about how I feel.

I looked at a baby that looked just like Aiden and Ainseigh at 3 months...and I know it would have grown up to look just like them and love me the way they do....and that little person is gone. It's strange having a loss after having two children because I naturally imagine it looking and acting very similar to them... 
it had such a reality to it.

God is so good and does wrap us up in these times of heartache... and I trust with my soul that He has a plan. But it doesn't soften the hurt. I was uneasy all morning with a huge lump in my throat. I have to say thank you so much for loving me well. I had flowers and meals on my doorstep, constant emails/texts/calls all morning....I am blessed to have such love in my life.

My doctor is a beautiful soul...her nurses and staff truly are like family to me. They have walked through some hard hard things in my personal life along side with me as well as 2 rough starts. She cried along with us today. She answered all my questions. I am sensitive soul- I take great care and respect to the little life that I had started in me and I wanted to make sure that afterwards, even so small, it was respected greatly. 
I miss the dreams we had for this child, I miss being pregnant, I just miss this baby.

This baby that we named Addison.
Addison Wiegand.
 It made me feel better to give him/her a name...to think about the day I reach heaven he/she will be standing there, I will instantly know who he/she is and wrap my hands around so tight.

I love you sweet Addison. I am so sorry I was unable to have time with you here on earth... I don't know or understand, but I love you just the same. Mama is coming someday and we will be together again. 
I love you sweet baby. so so very much.

"And the cup He brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears."

Lullaby ~ Andrew Peterson
Well, I haven't got a lot to offer
Just a rhyme and a melody
But I promised I'd write if it took all night
A lullaby for thee
They say there ain't no sleeping in heaven
But baby that don't mean that you can't dream
So when you close your eyes
Know your mother and I
Pray the Lord your little soul to keep
And we never got a chance to hold you
And we never got to tell you goodnight
So we hope you can hear as Jesus cradles you near
Baby, this is your lullaby
So, are you running with the angels?
Are you singing with the saints?
Are you throwing a ball against a heavenly wall
Maybe swinging on the pearly gates?
Well there's so much love between us
And so much that I want to say
I want to ramble a while with my beautiful child
Baby, I can hardly wait

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154 comments:

  1. What a beautiful name for your angel. Praying for you, Casey.

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  2. NOT ONE PERSON will find it silly for you to be sad, to grieve, to cry ... I'm hugging you from a far distance tonight, Casey. Praying that God will wrap His big old arms around you and give you a sweet and supernatural peace in the days head. *HUGS*

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  3. Such a beautiful post for such a sad story. God is carrying you through this-Even so, do not feel bad to mourn the loss of your child. I am so sorry and will continue to pray for you and your family.

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  4. Casey, I am so sorry for your loss. I think your name is so important for him/her. PRAYING FOR YOU!

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  5. I think the name Addison, your little angel, is so beautiful. I am so sorry for your pain, but God does has a plan... You and your family are in my prayers... take care *xo*

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  6. My eyes are full of tears for you. This is hard, hurtful, and heart wrenching... everyone should understand that its hard...maybe they haven't been in the exact situation, but no one should think its silly for you to feel the way you do!

    The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18.

    He's as close to you as He can possibly be...loving you through it all and hurting with you through it all.

    You're in my prayers!

    P.S. Addison is a beautiful name!

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  7. wrapping you in love & light sweet casey.

    xo.
    tahnie

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  8. You bring warm tears to my eyes with your amazing writing! You have such a beautiful soul. I've been praying long and hard for your sweet family. Take care, sweetie.

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  9. Such a precious name, Casey. Thank you for being real, and honest...that is a beautiful thing. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers <3

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  10. There is a beautiful quote that I can not remember precisely but goes something like

    "I looked forward to holding my child and telling him about you, since I didn't get the chance- please hold him and tell him about me"

    (forgive the inexactness)

    I am sorry for your pain.

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  11. Beautiful post, Casey. Not silly to be sad at all. Your pain is your pain. I've been there, sister. Isn't it good to know you'll get to spend eternal life with your sweet child? For me, it helps heaven to seem closer somehow, and helps keep and eternal perspective in this life. You are a wonderful mother to all three of your babies, and I admire you, so very much.

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  12. Casey, Your honesty and open heart constantly amaze me. You deserve to have whatever feelings you are having. They are all very natural just as every other emotion you have shared with us on your blog. This is why we all love & care about you so much even though a lot of us only know you through cyberspace. Be you and don't feel the need to defend it to anyone because that is the person Addison will recognize when you eventually join an a warm embrace. Please remember to take care of yourself during this recovery both emotionally and physically.
    With love, Kristen

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  13. You should never feel judgement on your feelings! I am so sorry for your great loss and know that prayers are coming to you.

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  14. I am crying and praying for your loss. Your compassion and love for your babies is so extraordinary. I'm so sorry.

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  15. bless all your hearts. you grieve the way you need to, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. praying for peace & healing for you all. (((hugs)))

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  16. i will never ever comprehend, but the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. continue to praise His name & know it's ok to feel hurt and sadness. i love you and am praying for you.

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  17. no one would ever say that grieving for a lost child is silly- i am so sorry casey. you take all the time you need to grieve the loss of Addison. SO many prayers your way-- your babies are so lucky to have such a loving mother.

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  18. This brought me to tears. You are so strong. I wish I was this strong when we went through our losses. I know that no amount of faith or strength takes away from the hurt, pain, sorrow and grief you are feeling right now. You have every right to have those feelings. I am so so sorry about Addison. Know that God is holding your family close and He will heal the hurt in His perfect time. I know your baby will always hold a special place in your family. Hugs and prayers to you.

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  19. I am crying with you Casey. I just can't imagine what you are going through. I'll keep praying for peace for you and your family.

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  20. Thank you for being brave enough to share your feelings during this emotional time. I know that the reunion you have with Addison in heaven will be more beautiful than we can even imagine in this life. My prayers are with you. Thank you for being such an inspiration in so many ways!

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  21. Your pain is real and valid, and I am so so sorry for your precious loss. I am crying for you and pray the Lord holds your heart.<3

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  22. Oh hun...this is not silly at all. It feels so much better to be honest and get your true feelings off your chest. We can all take it, and Jesus certainly can handle it. I am so sorry again that you are experiencing this, but I, like you, know you will see sweet Addison again someday...and what an amazing thing to hold onto. You are still in my prayers, sweet friend. Much love to you.

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  23. I love you momma! You should not feel silly at all. It is a devastating loss for you!!! You have every right to be upset and no one should judge you. I am here for you no matter what! If you need me please don't hesitate to get ahold of me! :) I love you and am praying for you and thinking about you throughout this hard time!

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  24. I'm so sorry for your loss Casey. Praying for you and your hubby tonight!

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  25. Heartbroken for you and your loss. You and your family have been and will continue to be prayed for. Praying for the peace that passes understanding.

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  26. My thoughts are with you and your family <3 Love the name Addison.

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  27. Oh I meant to add this quote that I thought of as soon as I read your post..

    "Lord, I never got to hold my baby and tell him about You, so can You please hold him and tell him about me?"

    Love you friend.

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  28. Continuing to lift you in prayer at the feet of Jesus. What a beautiful name you chose.

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  29. I'm very sorry as well. The Lord will reunite you all one day

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  30. My heart breaks for you. Addison is in the sweet loving arms of Jesus. May you fine peace and comfort in that. Praying for you and family <3

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  31. You have no reason to feel silly for mourning the loss of your child. You absolutely deserve time to grieve. Be easy on yourself. Addison is a beautiful name and this post is so heartfelt. You're still in my prayers!

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  32. Casey, you have such a beautiful soul. Iam sad and crying for you..but praying for you also. I went through the same thing, I was 3 months along when I was told there was no heartbeat and had to have surgery. I Was young and didn't think to name my baby:( I love the name Addison. I Can't wait until we are both holding our angel babys in heaven. love you friend and know you are in my prayers

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  33. I am so sorry to hear of your loss, praying for peace for you and chris. thinking of you ! ove you! xoxo

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  34. Let your heart grieve, Casey, for as long as you need to. God knows your pain and walks beside you in your sadness.

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  35. Oh, I am so sorry! I read your other post earlier this morning, but was unable to comment for some reason. It's not at all silly for you to feel the way you do. My sister-in-law suffered to miscarriages around 12/14 weeks as well and it's so hard. It hurts and it's sometimes unexplainable and there's so much we don't understand. It's hard to trust God's plan with the loss of a baby. Praying... ~ Andi

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  36. Praying for you and your family in this time of grief. May God comfort you with His unfailing love.

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  37. I had many of the same feelings. Celebrate that little life. Prayers for you Casey. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    There will be beauty somewhere in this mess.

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  38. Precious Addison.
    I love you friend.
    You haven't left my mind or prayers all day.
    Praying a peaceful nights rest for you.

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  39. Been praying for you all day. My aunt and uncle lost their dog today...she was the sweetest, most loving maltese named katy. I like to think that maybe sweet addison and katy are playing together in heaven <3

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  40. oh Casey... you're seriously so heavy on my heart tonight. i'm sitting here in tears for you, from a momma who has walked the hard road of losing a precious baby, my heart just aches so very deeply for you. i don't even "know" you personally, but know that i'm praying for you in very specific ways. and if you ever want to talk and i mean that with {every}thing in me. please, please don't hesitate. i am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby boy/girl and the dreams that you lost the moment you saw the worst thing imaginable.

    whew... {hugs} and much, much love and prayers... he's holding our babies, their resting between His ever so strong shoulders and all the while, He is holding you too.

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  41. Praying for peace and comfort in this difficult time. You are entitled to feel every emotion right now--as a woman & a mama, it is an emotional and physical loss. I know there is much heartbreak and disappointment, but I promise it gets better. Let Jesus carry you through this---He will not fail you. Xo

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  42. casey- Feel everything. it's the only way to heal.No one can understand a mother's connection to their child besides other mothers.
    I love that you gave the baby a name. It gives a respectful identity to him/her. I'm so sorry this happened to you guys, and my prayers are with you.

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  43. I am so very sorry for your loss. This breaks my heart to read and you are most definitely in my prayers. Thinking of you...

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  44. Casey you are not silly...and NO one will think you are! you have suffered and lost something that is the most precious gift of all! You have every right to be sad...or MAD...and grieve that precious baby. God is wrapping his arms around baby right now and holding him/her even though you can't. Love you friend. Praying for peace for you and yours!

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  45. It is not silly in the least bit to grieve for your little one. It just means that now a little piece of your heart already lives in Heaven. My heart aches for you and my prayers are for you and your precious family.

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  46. I don't think anyone thinks you are silly. You are wonderful, and your little baby is safe waiting for you in heaven.

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  47. I wasn't as far along as you when our baby went to heaven, but I can relate. I pray for you and your family, I know how are hard it is. I miscarried in March, It was our first baby and I was so very excited. The loss is devastating and I can only pray for you. I hope that you will know that you will see your baby again in heaven. That Heavenly Father is taking care of your baby, and that you are still a wonderful mother. I wrote a post on my blog after my miscarriage, it had some good messages in it that I had found around the internet. You are welcome to read it if you would like to. I know we don't know each other, but you are in my prayers.
    Bryttan
    http://chocolatechipwaffles.blogspot.com/2011/05/pregnancy-can-be-such-exciting-time-but.html

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  48. Addison is a beautiful sweet name. I am so sorry for this loss. What a day of rejoicing it will be when we all get to heaven!

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  49. Casey... I am so sorry for this loss! I know you are hurting but a book that could put some ease to your mind is "Heaven is For Real" Not sure if you have read or heard of it but it made me a real believer! God doesn't put you through anything he knows you can't handle!

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  50. Addison is such a beautiful name & you are not silly. It is your baby, and no matter what, it is heart breaking. Praying for your family.

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  51. Hi Casey. I only recently started following your blog, I came after seeing Sydney's feature on you in The Daybook. I just wanted to let you know that I had a miscarriage after my first baby. I decided it must've happened for a reason, and we tried again. Straight away I fell pregnant and 9 months later delivered beautiful, healthy identical twin girls! Our first is a girl too, so we are blessed with 3 gorgeous daughters. Stay strong. xxx

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  52. I am so very sorry. My heart aches for you and your family... Addison is very happily sitting in Jesus's lap, awaiting the day she meets her/his mama someday. Love and prayers.

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  53. of course you are not silly for feeling heartbroken. you are a fabulous mama and such a beautiful, kind soul. little addison is so lucky to call you his/her mama and i know he/she will be looking forward to that big hug one day :) i will continue to be praying for you and your husband.

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  54. I am praying for you! Addison is a beautiful name! No reason to feel silly! You have a wonderful soul and the Lord will bless you greatly for your strength in him :)

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  55. I do not often comment on your lovely blog, but please know that i am praying for you and your family during this time.
    my heart aches for you and your family. you are such an amazing mom with a heart of gold...please let yourself grieve during this time and think not about what others think. your pain is real.
    praying for you.

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  56. you are not silly at all love & that lullaby is beautiful/

    all our love & prayers as you think about sweet addison.

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  57. Casey, I've never met you... and this is the first time I've seen your blog but my heart aches for you and your family. Praying for you tonight. May the Lord wrap you tight and give you peace. What a beautiful name you've given your sweet baby. You are absolutely not silly. Your suffering is real and your loss is tragic. I have a friend that actually had a memorial service of sorts for her baby, Aidah, lost around 8 weeks. There is nothing silly about it but joy comes in the morning.

    Praying for you.

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  58. Your story brought tears... I have never been through what you're going through, but please know that there are so many of us praying for you and for your family.

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  59. It's not silly for you to be sad! You have the right to grieve your loss! Everyone should understand! I understand! That baby was so close to you! You are blessed Casey,but it is ok to be sad about your loss....noone will think less of you! I am praying for you! Please know that noone will think LESS OF YOU FOR BEING SAD...IT'S OK! Take some time to cry on your hubby's shoulder! In that God will offer you healing, it won't happen right away, but someday....you will have healing. I believe we are all puzzles. The events of life connect in someway, somehow. Unlike a puzzle you buy in a box, you can't see the overall picture....After you go through something you can look back....and see how that puzzle piece looks, how it connected to you. It doesn't seem like it now but somehow your loss of Addison...completes your puzzle...even hurts make us into beautiful people. I guess, I feel like I can say this and hopeful it won't come out wrong. I have been through alot....(I don't ever talk about it) I just have found comfort in knowing that God has used my hard times.... He is using yours now and will continue to use it! Just know I am praying for you! Glad people are being so loving, by bringing you meals! I would do the same....if I lived near you!

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  60. Beautiful post Casey. My heart is still aching with you tonight.
    The anniversary of when we lost our baby is coming up... I think you have inspired me to give that baby a name.

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  61. Oh Casey! That name is beautiful for a boy or girl.

    I am so sorry for your loss. I have a friend going through the same thing. You and her are in my prayers.

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  62. I love you. . . and Addison. . . and again, am so sorry for your loss. . . praying for healing sweet friend! Love you . . .

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  63. I hope you guys are filled with peace. I think it wouldn't be normal if you weren't sad. I'd be devastated no matter how many children I had. I watched my mom go through 4 miscarriages. They were all hard. Each time, a life was lost. Praying for you and your family.

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  64. I am SO sorry Casey!! You have been in my thoughts all day!! Praying for you and your family!!

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  65. Casey hang in there...mourn, cry, get angry feel anything and everything you want to. It is okay. When your pregnant your not just carrying a sweet baby, your also carrying all the dreams, and hopes, and the aspirations for that child. As one mom to another, the minute I saw a plus sign on the home pregnancy test, I bonded with that baby...I think every mom does...so you need to allow yourself to feel that loss. You don't need to be strong. Let others take care of you. You deserve it. My heart breaks for you and your family. Take time for you and your family. Your "family" out here in blog land will understand. You will be in my prayers.

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  66. What a beautiful name for your angle in heaven. Praying for you and your family.

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  67. I'm in tears and so sorry for your loss.. her name is beautiful - thinking of you and hoping things become better soon.

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  68. I cry and mourn with you right now. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug. Can't wait to meet Addison one day. Love ya, sister.

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  69. This post made me cry. I'm so sorry for your lost. I too lost a baby last year, it's not fun. My thoughts are with you and your family! Thanks for being real . . .

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  70. Lump in my throat right now...o how we are praying for you right now friend <3

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  71. My heart is breaking for you. I know that Jesus weeps with you for your loss, and that someday He will make it possible for you to meet your sweet baby again. Sending prayers your way.

    "God can make good of everything that happens - but the loss is still real."
    -C.S. Lewis

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  72. beautiful name. i'm praying for your and your family. take comfort in knowing you will meet Addison in Heaven.

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  73. What a tragic thing to have to go through...praying for you and your family, Casey.

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  74. so sorry for your loss---I cannot even fathom the hurt. My prayers and thoughts are with you. You go on and feel how you do--it is the natural process and is OKAY to be sad! It is human! Your sweet baby is home with Jesus! How glorious that you get to meet him/her again!

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  75. hey, friend. i've been out of town so i feel so out of the loop with everything - but girl, my heart breaks for you. go ahead and mourn, be sad, and be broken. we will be strong for you by loving, praying and supporting you. love you, sweet friend.

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  76. Its okay to be sad, mad, angry, and want to stay in bed all day! You obviously are surrounded by many who love and adore you and so I hope you can find strength in them, their deeds, their words, and their prayers. I think you are one amazing, strong woman and I've only been a blog reader and never met you so I bet your awesomeness is a thousand times more!

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  77. Casey~ my heart goes out to you & your family as you mourn your sweet Addison. Never feel bad for the feelings you are having. They are real & they are yours. I suffered a miscarriage many years ago with my first baby & I still carry that loss with me. Praying for you as you heal! ~ hugs!

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  78. In no way would feeling sad be silly Casey. You're in my thoughts and prayers tonight! He will guide you stay strong honey.

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  79. I'm a new reader of your blog... I've lost 4 babies and it's always ok to grieve that little soul who would've come into your family. It hurts and it takes time to heal. saying a prayer for you...thanks for your honesty in sharing your life!

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  80. I am always so amazed and inspired by you!! no one would think it is silly or dumb to be mournful over the loss of a child. even though others have miscarriages, each one is sorrowful, sad, and heart wrenching. it is the loss of a sweet spirit of God and it is nothing to think less of. my heart and prayers are with you and your family!!! may peace me with you!! you are such a strong and inspirational woman. i learn so much from you every day :)

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  81. That poem is beautiful. It had me in tears. You are in my prayers.

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  82. You are all in my thoughts, prayers, and hugs. I am so sorry for your loss, no words could ever say enough. My heart aches for your family and I know you have the most precious angel of all looking over you now. I mourn with you and your family and give my shoulder to cry on! May you find peace, Casey.

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  83. I sure hope that no one on earth thinks you're silly for grieving your loss. There is really no solace I know to give you with words, but my heart went out to you when I read your post yesterday...
    It's good to know that you are surrounde by people who support you and try and comfort you - sure your time to be strong will come around, but if now you feel like bidding a tearful farewell to little Addison (for now), at least you don't need to be lonely doing so.
    Wishing you all the best possible!

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  84. I don't think I ever commented here before. I just wanted to let you know, that I'm so sorry for you. Love for you and your family all the way from Germany!

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  85. Such a nice name. God definitely does have a plan, for you and Addison. Glad you have the support you need at this difficult time. My mum lost a baby between my brother and I and I still think about her and know that I will meet her and know her one day.

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  86. Praying for you and your family during this difficult time. I'm so sad for your loss.

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  87. I love the name you picked for your dear little one. I know your sweet baby will be waiting for you in heaven with arms wide open! In the meantime, I'm still praying for you and Chris....

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  88. Be sad, cry, grieve and miss your sweet baby. So very sad and heartbreaking.

    Sending cyber hugs from New Jersey to you and yours.

    Roselle

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  89. prayers and thoughts going out to a sister in Christ. thank you for being real and sharing your hope in the greatest hope we have.

    :)

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  90. What a beautiful joy little Addison is. You're touching so many others through your hurt right now that are experiencing the same thing. If Addison's life even touches one person & draws them nearer to our heavenly father, Addison's life is not in vain. Continued prayers are being lifted up for you. Hurt when you hurt, cry when you need to cry, make sure to feel the way you need to at the moment you need it. Much love & blessings. XXXXXXX

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  91. God created you in His marvelous image!!He loves you and yes, has a plan for you and your sweet family. He is your COMFORTER!! I pray for peace and comfort at this time and healing.

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  92. be brave. time will heal. i found it easy to conceive right after i lost twins

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  93. So sorry to you and your family.

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  94. it's okay to feel everything you are feeling. give yourself time to grieve.

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  95. I started following your blog a few months ago, and came across your post about "open hands" I have not read it in awhile, but when I did it really opened my eyes at the time of my miscarriage that these kids are not mine for the keeping and that God had needed my new little one for something and I would be in the know later. It really helped my hurting. I too lost my 3rd baby after 2 healthy normal pregnancies my youngest was just 9 months old and I NEVER had a miscarriage on my mind, there was no way that could happen now, not on your 3rd child.
    I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you start healing, although you will never forget.
    Thank you for being an inspiration to me when I was going through such a difficult time in my life.
    Erica

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  96. Not silly at all. There is plenty reason for you to be sad. You're a tender soul, and a momma. Bless you sweet girl! You are in my prayers!

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  97. Just tears for you this morning. I wish I could come there and just give you a hug and help you to take care of your littles as you grieve. If anyone says it's silly for you to grieve for losing a child, they must not have a heart.

    What a beautiful name for your little one. Still praying for you and your family during this time.

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  98. i think loving her even though she was only with you for 3 months is the most beautiful thing you can do. praying for you, and if there was more i could do, even though i don't know you, i would

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  99. praying for you and your beautiful family today. the Lord's light shines so bright here on this blog & through parts of your life that you share here. the Lord has His arms wrapped tightly around you, holding you and whispering that he understands and how He loves you so.

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  100. oh, you beautiful heart.

    please don't think you can't be strong and broken at the very same time...our sweet lord uses the broken pieces to create whole, new, absolute beauty.

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  101. sending lots of love your way today miss casey, and to your beautiful angel <3

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  102. I cried reading this post.

    I've been following your blog for a long time.

    God bless you.

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  103. So so sorry for your loss, Casey, but how wonderful to know that you WILL see your angel baby in heaven some day. love & prayers

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  104. I know your pain well after having lost a little girl this past February at 14 weeks. I also felt that others might find it "silly" that I would be grieving so much for a baby that was not so far along, but I can tell you that your baby (and my baby) are still our children, no matter how far along you were. I also named my baby (Rose), and I find comfort in knowing she is in heaven watching over me and that she will always be my daughter no matter what happens on this earth. I read a book during that time called "Heaven is For Real," and it really helped me.

    I wish I could tell you time heals, but in my case it didn't. Six months later the continual "what ifs" plague me and I miss her just as much, but in a way, it helps me remember. Pain is personal and universal all at the same time. Let yourself grieve. I chose to be strong at the time, and now I wish I gave myself that time to grieve because I can't take that time back. Sending love..

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  105. I am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I just experienced the same thing recently and it is such a difficult loss to mounrn. Praying for you that the Lord will be your comfort at this time.

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  106. I just started reading your blog, and I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I had two miscarriages in between my daughter and my son...those were painful times. There's something about walking through this, though, that makes you a better mother, friend, and wife. I pray you're able to use your loss to bring glory to the Lord.

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  107. I won't be able to say anything that hasn't already been said - but please know that your story has been on my mind and that warm thoughts have been going your way. I hope you and your family find the comfort you so deserve.

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  108. By the 104th comment... it may have lost its meaning, but I was brought to tears through my google reader today. I am praying for your strength to grow.

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  109. I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried my first baby. It was a very hard and sad time. That was nine years ago and I have had two healthy babies since but I still get teary-eyed sometimes when I think about it. Prayers for you and your family.

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  110. Be gentle with yourself, pray and you know that people all over the world are crying and hurting for you and praying and sending love and hope to you and your family.

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  111. I'll keep praying for comfort and grace. Even in your suffering, you are an amazing encouragement to me and to others, I'm sure.

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  112. sweet Casey, and Christopher, Aiden and Ainsleigh. I love you and baby Addison. God keep you and protect you all. No one will ever replace baby Addison but you will be blessed with many many more babies and Addisons light will shine through them as well as their own amazing light. God has chosen a special place with Him for your sweet baby for now and you know baby is safe in the arms of Jesus waiting for you, you beautiful woman xxxxx love and light to all of you, I am thinking about you all the time xxx Charlie sends his kisses to you too xxx

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  113. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that time will heal your pain!

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  114. I have Been reading your blog for about two months now. Oh hoe my heart breaks for you as I read about the loss of your sweet baby. :( I too have lost a tiny blessing and I know the pain you feel and the pit in your stomach you feel when you stop and wonder who they would have been...take heart friend, both our sweet ones are safe in the arms of Jesus. They will grow in peace and perfection and will be whoever they would have been down here, up there waiting for the return of the ones they love. :) you will know your baby without a shadow if doubt and he/she will know you. So take heart in the day of your reunion and love the little blessings here on earth. God will dry your tears and mend your broken heart in time. :) God bless and many prayers your way.

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  115. I have Been reading your blog for about two months now. Oh hoe my heart breaks for you as I read about the loss of your sweet baby. :( I too have lost a tiny blessing and I know the pain you feel and the pit in your stomach you feel when you stop and wonder who they would have been...take heart friend, both our sweet ones are safe in the arms of Jesus. They will grow in peace and perfection and will be whoever they would have been down here, up there waiting for the return of the ones they love. :) you will know your baby without a shadow if doubt and he/she will know you. So take heart in the day of your reunion and love the little blessings here on earth. God will dry your tears and mend your broken heart in time. :) God bless and many prayers your way.

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  116. my heart is so heavy for you, friend. to lose a baby is one of the hardest things, I'm sure...but what a beautiful name!

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  117. I'm soo sorry Casey, Christopher, Aiden, and Ainsleigh.
    Definitely praying for you <3
    But, it's all in God's plan and I KNOW you'll make it through.

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  118. Casey, my heart absolutely breaks for you. Praying for you and your sweet family!

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  119. I can't say I have ever teared up reading any blog post before...but I did today. You made me squeeze my babes a little tighter and say a little prayer; of gratitude and for you. May this bring you and your husband to a better place and may the Lord give you the peace and comfort only He can provide. Marissa

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  120. I admire your faith, and yes you will indeed see your sweet Addison soon.. Until then, rest assure that God has Baby Addison safe in his loving arms! Stay Strong and know that you are not alone! Sending many prayer's and love from NC..

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  121. Casey, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

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  122. Take your time to feel the way you are feeling. Bottling all that emotion up won't help you heal. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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  123. One of the things that I will never understand is why God takes people so young, but by faith we know that he has a master plan! Prayers for you, Christopher, the family, and all of those who are grieving the loss of a loved one! A good friend shared this with me after the loss of my best friend, and I think it serves as a great reminder when we are struggling or in need.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtNzOpKvPfw&feature=related

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  124. My heart is broken for you. I wish there were words adequate enough to express how very sorry I am.

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  125. A beautiful post, Casey, such a wonderful love letter to your baby. And a beautiful 'Lullaby'. Tearing up here...
    xo

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  126. I am a new follower, and it broke my heart when I saw your recent post. It is an extremely difficult thing to go through, no matter how "early" or "late" it happens. It truly is a loss. My thoughts & prayers go out to you and your family during this time.

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  127. I seriously cried reading this ... You don't have to make excuses for being sad you have reason to be sad ... My heart breaks for u and u will be in my prayers

    WWW.lifeisjustrosie.com

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  128. I read this at 10:30 lat night, and you had no comments, now you have over 100! I'm so glad so many people have read this post, it has such a good message. Want to know something funny? I was headed over to admire YOUR perfect hair, when I saw this post! Talk about crazy! Thank you for sharing it. I tend to compare my life to others so often, it was nice to read such a sweet post.

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  129. Please do not feel that being sad during this time is inappropriate. You lost a child. He/she was a person from conception. He/she was your little one and you have every right to grieve.

    We know the pain of miscarriage and that prayer is so helpful. So our family is praying for yours.

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  130. I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your precious family in my prayers.

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  131. Found my way over to your lovely lovely site from Small Bird studios. I just wanted to wrap my arms around you in a virtual hug and let you know that I am thinking of you as you walk this road. What you are feeling is totally and completely and utterly normal. We lost our little girl Bella 2 years ago at 20 weeks and I wanted so bad to be strong but the hopes the dreams the life we were supposed to have came crashing down and it was all too much to bear. What a beautiful name, Addison. Thank you for sharing her story with us. xoxo.

    -beryl
    http://illuminate.beyoungphotography.com

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  132. Casey,

    I ran across your blog through the Small Bird Studios blog. Your story hit very close to home because I lost our precious baby August 19 at 10 weeks and 5 days.

    My heart aches for you and your loss. And you and your family will most definately be in our prayers.

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  133. What a beautiful post. I cried. I have 4 babies and have never gone through anything like this, so the only way I can relate is that I'm VERY sensitive.
    Sending you lots of love.

    Vera

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  134. I am so sad to read about your loss, Casey. I'm bawling my eyes out right now. I have 2 little ones and can't imagine the hurt you are going through right now. But I trust in our God and I am praying for peace and comfort for you and your family. Much much love to you in Christ Jesus.

    --Jenna

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  135. Hi Casey,
    Franchesca sent me to your blog. I don't know you but do know your pain. I lost our 2nd baby due to an early miscarriage at 9 1/2 weeks in 2008. I still greive the loss and find comfort knowing other BLMs (baby lost mammas). I'm so sorry you've had to join this club. You said it just as I've said in the past, "having children already makes the loss especially dificult because we know what we are missing by losing this child." My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend. Love and hugs, Amanda
    P.S. naming your baby will make her memory live on . I chose to name my baby (whom I thought was a boy), Noah Joel Hoyt. Just having a name makes me and others know that he made an impression on this world and left a hole in our family. Peace be with you, Casey.

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  136. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been reading your blog for a month or so, found you from top baby blogs. A friend who had lost her baby at about 20 weeks along told me, after my miscarriage, that she loved knowing that her baby was "born into heaven", never knowing the pain and sin of this earth. I thought that was so beautiful, and I loved thinking about my little one being born into heaven, too. I am confident that we will see our little ones in heaven. Just another thing to look forward to, after we meet our Jesus.
    a book that helped me was "Grieving the Child I Never Knew"...I got it from amazon. praying for you as you grieve.

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  137. Perfectly put and so beautiful. I'm sorry for the loss of your little one.

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  138. Oh Casey, I am so so sorry! I just read this and am so heartbroken for you. I too have a little Halle Grace and Ryan Noel, that I await eagerly to meet and kiss in heaven someday. There are truly no words sufficient...

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  139. God bless you, sweetheart. I am so very sorry for your loss. There sadly is a sisterhood in this, and personally, I believe embracing it fully is the way to heal. Grieve out loud. A beautiful angel just past the gates of Heaven: the first to greet you someday. Trust. xoxo

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  140. Casey, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and sorrow, but I'm so grateful there are women like you out there who are strong enough to share your grieving and loss with others. Thank You. You are a great example of seeing the beautiful and joyful "little things" in life during times of hardship and trial. Love to you and yours.

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  141. Casey,

    I just stumbled on your blog for the first time today and it is a privilege to meet such a courageous and wonderful person like you. I live all the way across from you in Nigeria and it is so refreshing to read your words.

    I admire you for your faith and the way you love and character radiates through your posts.

    We, as humans will never see the big picture but yet in all things we must trust that God's love will see us through all our trials.

    I am praying for the Wiegands and May the love of God strengthen, keep and bind you together with love during these times.

    You are a blessing and an inspiration to many.

    God bless you.

    Love,
    B

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  142. Casey, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet angle, Addison. We just went thru a miscarriage in April. I think of my lost baby almost every day still. It got easier as the days, weeks and months went on, but my 2nd baby is always with me in my heart, even if I was never blessed to hold or look at him/her. I'm praying for you and your family to get thru this difficult time. Please, do not ever feel like you don't have the right to say how you're really feeling. It's genuine souls like you, that make this world a wonderful place to share.

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  143. Casey, I know there are no words that can express how sorry I am for your loss. My heart aches for you. I know this pain. I've been there too. I often would think that yes, my little girl has a big brother/sister waiting in heaven. I barely knew I was pregnant before it was taken away. But he/she is there--maybe playing with Addison. Someday. We'll see our babies.

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  144. Casey, I am a new reader to your blog. In fact, it was only a couple of days after I found it that i read this post. My hurt ached with you.
    I miscarried 2 years ago.
    It was our 4th baby.
    And as I read what you wrote in this post, my soul understood everything you are feeling.
    Your words resounded with me.
    Even now, two years later, they still comfort me.
    I thought I had to be strong.
    That I din't have a right to be so horribly sad when others experienced greater loss than I had.
    But we are mothers and this was our baby.
    Life, any life, is precious.
    I appreciate your willingness to open your heart at this time.
    Tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of my due date.
    The pain is not so bad now.
    But i still miss that babe and who he or she would have been in our family.
    I have been reading through posts from that time and found this.
    It was healing to see how God was walking through those hard days right with me.
    It might be a comfort to you too.
    http://lillyandthebrothers.blogspot.com/2010/03/orange-blossoms-and-hope.html
    Thinking of you and your sweet angel.
    With love from,
    Greta

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  145. Oh, sweet girl... my heart knows your pain.. the feeling like you can't breathe and you want to puke but no longer have insides at all. The heart ache and emptiness.

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Lots of love and a long hand holding,
    Violet

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  146. I'm here from Franchesca's blog and I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your precious baby. Addison is a beautiful name, and I'm sure your reunion in heaven will be just amazing. Until that time comes, I am wishing you comfort and peace and love and light in knowing Addison will always be your baby. I know each person's experience is different, but I know the heartache of losing babies before they are born. I'm so sorry your family has to endure this.

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  147. Casey...I was in the hospital when you posted this. I'm sorry for the delay, but my heart goes out to you. I'm praying for your family. You are loved, and your angel is loved. <3

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  148. Casey,
    I'm new to your blog and today was the first visit for me. It's crazy that I found your blog and what you went through happened to me 3 years ago. Today has been 3 years since I lost my baby girl Kiarra. Today has been a hard day since I woke up this morning. Reading your post about your sweet baby Addison made me think of my baby girl. I know without a doubt that we will one day be blessed to be with our children again. Families are Forever and everyday I thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me with that sweet baby that returned to heaven. I often wonder what Kiarra would be like and look forward to the day that I get to find out. Thank you for being you, for being strong, and for sharing your feelings, I admire you!

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  149. Casey, I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks at the beginning of March, after going through secondary infertility for almost 5 years. My heart aches for you because I know the feelings that I am still struggling with almost 7 months later. Over the past month, I have had a lot of visions of what I could have looked like at this point - I would love to be 9 months pregnant and ready to welcome a new little one into the world. I don't think the feeling of loss will ever leave us. I never realized how difficult a miscarriage is emotionally and physically. It is truly a painful and sad experience and you have absolutely no reason to feel silly. Much prayer with you.

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  150. Casey..thanks for sharing your story! I am new to your blog and just skimming through it makes me want to make my blog better, maybe more than about fashion...thanks for the inspiration! My husband and I too struggled through a difficult miscarriage after two years of tying to get pregnant..it was a rough time. After another two years and through IVF we were finally blessed with our little boy, who is 3 today. Your family is in my thoughts.

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