assumptions.

September 22, 2011

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I have two things that have been on my heart this week. 
One is assumptions.
 It is interesting how we all make assumptions about one another. 
I do it too.

For example, we struggle with money at times.
A number of people assume that our money trouble has let up because for example, we went to Disney Land...instead of assuming that we were given the tickets, people assume we are doing better. Or maybe someone has no trouble getting pregnant and you envy them- you assume they have what you want. But what if their marriage is a wreck or they struggle with depression and you have no idea. 

I guess what I am saying is there is so much we don't know about one another.

I always giggle a little when I see people make assumptions in my outfit posts...if I am wearing anthro pants...I didn't necessarily buy them :). They may have been handed down to me. 

I was talking to Gussy this week and we were saying that sometimes people need to be reminded that in blogworld we get to share what we WANT to share....we choose what is "put out there".

The other thing I have been thinking a lot about is my desire for intimacy. I am a passionate girl... I want intimacy in my friendships, with my family, in my marriage- in just about everything. I was driving today thinking about this void I have...no matter what I do...nothing can fill this huge craving for intimacy. Maybe it's a woman thing...or maybe it's a "Casey" thing....but I was thinking about how really truly God is the only thing that can fill that void. 
It's such a daily reminder, for me atleast. Let HIM fill it.

As is almost everything.

Everyday I must choose forgiveness, I must choose to not be bitter, I must choose to die to myself and for God to fill my voids. I have off days- days when I choose myself...and then I have days where I choose right. It's a daily battle, right?

And the thing is it's not a one time decision...I believe for most of us, 
it's a life battle.

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skirt (can also be worn as a dress): lamixx
necklace: lisa leonard
jacket: target, shirt/glasses: urban, boots: nordstrom rack

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77 comments:

  1. I feel like you took some words right out of my mouth, its so easy to :judge: & :gossip: about things we sometimes know nothing about. I feel this is a daily battle that Im working on (more so in the workplace!) this hit home for me...thank YOU for that- xoxo

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  2. SUCH true words. You never know what someone has going on behind closed doors, or like you said, the things they do not write about. I hate when people make assumptions. But, I LOVE your blog and I say just brush off anyone who may being doing this to you. You are doing the best you can and that is a wonderful thing! Hugs!

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  3. People constantly assume about me as well. I can understand. You are right, people make these decisions about someone without truly knowing one another.

    What you said about choosing forgiveness, I have struggled with this in a situation with my family.. You have to choose you are totally right.

    I will pray for your money situation to be figured out! Don't let the assumptions get you down. It sounds like you are on the right path.

    Have a blessed weekend.

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  4. I admire you so, so much! We will never be completely happy and ok unless we let HIM have total control.

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  5. What a beautiful post Casey! I remember you saying that. I've had a friend's words get back to me recently that cut like a sword (to the point of me crying for nearly an hour). It hurts so much to be judged for trying to follow the Lord.

    It has been a continual decision to choose forgiveness instead of bitterness every time I see that friend. But I must remember that God is where my hope comes from and He is our provider and He is the one who I find my worth in.

    This is just a beautiful post. Thank you!

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  6. This is so true...I hate how people assume things, but we all do it.
    I also crave that intimacy, too. I definitely think it's ok to find it through people here on earth, but you're right, it ultimately has to come from God. He is the only One that fills all our voids.
    Love you!! xoxo

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  7. Amen. We can never know what that person needs in line behind us at the store or if they are praying that their card will be approved. The thing is, it is more than finances. People assume that if you look poor or wealthy they know. Thank-you Casey for your heart.

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  8. SO true, all of it! I love your posts..they always hit home!

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  9. What a splendid reminder.
    Very eye opening.
    I live with that constant battle each day as well.
    May His blessings overwhelm your life and His everlasting favor flow over you.

    ♥Jazmin

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  10. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS! Such good truth. I was talking to someone about this the other day... about Facebook in particular.... about how we can say whatever we want and make our lives look as "perfect" as we want it to... but it's not necessarily the "truth of the situation." I mean, who updates their statuses or blogs about the crap in life? Laundry, chores, etc? Seriously. Love this girl! Love you!! So, so good... love your heart! xo

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  11. wow. i love your posts and how real they are. i have been thinking a lot about how easy it is to be so happy go lucky on blogs. yet something inside of us craves to know the reality of each others lives.

    it's inspired me to start a brand new series called ForRealz Fridays over on my blog. i want to be honest with people about our life. . . the good the bad the ugly.
    thanks for leading the way in being real!

    xoxo

    ps. so glad you guys got to go to disney!! best place ever!

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  12. Casey, I know I tweet you with this all the time, but you truly inspire me to be a better person because of your willingness to share and spread joy. Thank you for being just you!
    Kristen (aka - KristenPGIP and thepreppygirlinpink)

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  13. I am a new follower and I love your blog! This hit home today more than you could ever know. That word has been in my head all week and I have been thinking about how we all assume things that are probably far from true. I have been feeling that a lot of people are assuming things about my family, my husbands business, etc. lately and it made me think about what I may assume about others. Thanks for putting this so beautifully with your words. Love theses pictures too!

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  14. So true. Great post, thanks for it.

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  15. I totally know what you mean. People assume we have money all the time. I work full time on the graveyard shift to try to support us but we have one car, a 95 subara, no cable and life paycheck to paycheck! I TOTOALLY get it!!!!

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  16. i love this post and it has been my thoughts all week. the intimacy that you speak of, i completely understand. i have linked up my story and i hope this is ok. i love your blog and your words always. take care.

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  17. This post gave me goosebumps my darling! It spoke to my heart in more ways than one. It is easy to make others perceive us in a certain way, but how exhausting to put on a facade for others... to mask who we truly are. God loves us for who we are, and others will too. It's easy to make assumptions but its hard to take the time to dig deep and get to know the people in our lives on an intimate level. That is a great goal to have. Instead of assumption, we can get to know the real person and love them for who they are. Thanks for sharing!

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  18. Beautiful thoughts you've shared and I feel the same way too at times and I do pre-judge too and shouldn't. Awesome reminder! :O)

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  19. love this post. and i totally agree. i think most people do choose very carefully what to put out there ...whether it's on facebook, twitter, or their blog. and most people's lives seem pretty 'perfect' because of it. thank you for being real and honest. it's is really appreciated.

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  20. Absolutely- beautiful thoughts- if we could keep our minds on Him- staying in prayer for others no matter how the outward self can look- i just blogged about this too!
    <3

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  21. you're so right. we share what we want to. such a great post, casey.

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  22. wonderfully put, casey.
    i am all for being real and of course always being honest. i feel though, for me it is important to guard my heart, my family, my life.
    while i often share my heart, which sometimes means sharing struggles/sin, i choose to share mostly positive, joyful content. not to be misleading, but to be uplifting. there must be that balance.

    i mean, we all know nobody is perfect, marriage tiffs, financial woes, ill-behaved kiddos...trouble.
    i read blogs to connect and be inspired. i think that is why my readers read. i want to offer truth, but also joy. and if my truth and struggle can't be shared in thay way yet, i save it for another time, if at all.

    what i am saying in all thia rambling;) is that YES. i hear you. and also to encourage you, dear one.

    in you, in your space here, i see balance and honesty. your heart is tender and your words chosen. press on. keep on looking to jesus, and keep loving and forgiving. and mind not what anyone "assumes" of you! xo

    LOVE YOU!! xo (see you soon!)

    Colossians 1:9-11 ESV
    "And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy."

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  23. you are beautiful - and i loved your honesty in this post. love you!

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  24. amazing post. I joined your blog right after you posted about your miscarriage. I relate to you on so many accounts. I'm trying to go back to the beginning and learn more about you.

    I find it sad when people in the blogging world that people just assume. It's not cool. Don't judge just by what you post. If you want to know ask. My life is an open book.

    Thanks for being such an amazing inspiration. Don't let people get you down...

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  25. what an encouraging post! i have felt this way many many times. love your blog!

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  26. Once again Casey, I love these words you speak. It is so easy to assume things by what we are fed through one another's blogs. Thank you for always sharing your heart, I am truly inspired by the things you share. :)

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  27. hey friend. i love getting glimpses of how the Lord is parenting you and husbanding you and keeping you close. i totally relate about the intimacy thing. i push hard for it everywhere, and sometimes that turns people off. but i understand. and have learned that you're right on...ONE person can give me all I need.

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  28. I loved this post. Thank You, This is a good reminder. Even though I know this about myself, it good to think that others choose what they put out there and what they don't! i.e. nobody's perfect no matter how perfect they seem ...

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  29. Case, if you need a ride to blog sugar...let me know...or we can scoop you up half way?? Let me know xoxo

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  30. I was thinking about this exact thing all day, it's like you took the words out of my head!

    People see what they want to see. They see based on their problems and issues. They judge, they assume, they feel inferior seeing blogger's "perfect" lives.

    We only put 10% of our lives on here, the 10% beautiful percent. The rest can be ugly and hard and sad, but we prefer to keep it as our happy place...

    great post!

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  31. This is SO true. I've had to challenge myself lately to NOT make assumptions the way I've done all my life... and it's also very true that we often assume {specifically in the blog word} that people have the most perfect lives ever.. forgetting that we see only what they choose to put out there. This is good stuff. I can definitely relate.

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  32. Casey you have no idea how that "life battle" has been on my heart this week. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use your words in my life tonight...praying for you friend.

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  33. How do i email you? It's not working.

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  34. Great thoughts.
    Love your glasses. I need new ones so bad and have been looking at similar frames. Adorable :)

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  35. i love that you speak it out loud. Yes, very true. He gives us the void because we need to NEED Him. I really make an effort to assume nothing and to have expectation of nothing - on anyone. I do however have faith with you that a way will be made for you. My reminding motto to myself this year is all about that the lesson is in "pulling up the empties". But we will never starve. <3

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  36. "Everyday I must choose forgiveness, I must choose to not be bitter, I must choose to die to myself and for God to fill my voids. I have off days- days when I choose myself...and then I have days where I choose right. It's a daily battle, right?"

    Wow! Amen to that!
    It's almost like we go through suffering daily to die unto ourselves(I mean spiritually, we let the awful things in our life die, we let our sins die) to make the room for God to work in and with our souls!

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  37. So so true. And I have such a huge need for intimacy too. You explained it exactly the way I feel about it. This enormous void in me that needs filled. I've also wondered if it was a woman thing. I'm going to let God fill it.

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  38. I completely agree that making assumptions about others isn't beneficial for either side. But I think it's important for people who use public forums to communicate to keep themselves in check about why they're doing it and what they're trying to say. Is it important to you that people know that you have financial trouble? Do you blog as a means of finding intimacy? If we strive to put our REAL truth out there, people won't have to make so many assumptions.

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  39. Casey
    since i don't know you, i can tell you this...for someone i don't know, i really like you! you are God's child and He will hold you in His arms and protect you from assumptions and road blocks. you keep on keeping on and He will be right there with you. SHINE inspite of darkness, LOVE inspite of hate, FAITH will always lead the way. praying for you mama.

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  41. wow.. it's amazing to see you use your 'platform' to be so real and honest in your life and love for God and family. Kudos to you and may your family be blessed for clearly blessing so many others... this song reminds me of your post.. if you know Caedmon's Call?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZZfDmENVwc

    Blessings!
    Mel
    www.needleandnestdesign.blogspot.com

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  42. This post is so right on! I struggle with this so much. But a lot of times when I'm really jealous of something someone has that I think I want or it would make me happy, something else about that situation is revealed that points out there is a reason why it's not happening to me. Sorry if that doesn't make sense. It's so easy for us to judge (things people buy, how big of house they live in, what they wear) and think that they are extremely well off, or not. Like you said it's a daily surrending to God on this issue.

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  43. These are such good, honest words. Thank you. I've been reading Elisabeth Elliot's A Path through Suffering, and it's been so transformative. It really spurs me on to only desire God's plan for my life, no matter what form it may take. Thanks for speaking those words to me/us as well.

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  44. Love this post casey! Very true! I love the Parallel between your post and outfits... Don't just assume your skirt was a skirt, it can work as a dress too! Praying that God countines to provide for you and your family! Have a great weekend! xoxo

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  45. Yes. Yes. Yes.
    So true.
    I so value your honesty.
    Thank you for being so real.
    xo
    Andee
    PS if you need a ride to blog sugar, I'm in LA, and driving down on Sunday after church. You can ride with me. Let me know.

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  46. Thanks for your post, Casey. I relate to your desire for intimacy, and the Lord is teaching me, too, how only HE can fully fill this desire in my heart. I have been learning to that we must choose forgiveness, b/c God has forgiven us. When we do, bitterness fades! Yes, it is a daily battle, reminding us of our constant need to lean on Him constantly!

    Blessings!

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  47. what an encouraging, transparent, honest post. i feel it, girl, and i'm there with ya. only God can fill our needs and HE is truly the one we need to have approval from.
    blessings to you.
    xo,
    Mary

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  48. I totally agree with everything you are expressing here. I know that fashion blogging seems to be a little bit obnoxious sometimes and that we want to show off. I have started to see things differently though and use it as a tool to connect with others and share what I have with them. Thanks for your honesty and openness.

    xo L.

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  49. I think so many women feel the way you do. It is so easy to get caught up in someone else and what they have in their life, rather than living and enjoying the life God has chosen for you. I think we miss out on a lot of joy that way. I also think it is so easy to look for all our joy in life to come through our husbands, rather than realizing our husbands are a gift from God and his way of showing us how much he loves us. They can not, no matter how much they love us, be our everything. Only God can do that! I completely understand the struggle though.

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  50. this is sooooo good casey! i've experienced a lot of that lately. God has been asking me to sow into other peoples lives alot...like more than usual and i'm being totally obedient, but the funny thing is, others think I have just money to blow and oh she must be rich or well off or something. HA not at all. It's actually totally the opposite and I think thats why He has been asking me to sow more, to see if i'll trust that if i give to someone else something that i need, that it give him the oppourtunity to provide and give to me. this was well said girlie. you look beautiful as always.
    LOVE YOU.

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  51. My dad used to say when you 'assume' you make an "ARS out of U and ME." May not be the most poetic saying, but I always remembered it and it has helped me not to judge or assume I know anything about someone else's circumstance. The best way I handle other people's judgment is by living the opposite way. I can only control myself after all!

    ps. My initial thought about your Disneyland trip was how sweet that someone must have gifted you with it. So we aren't all judging, I promise. : )

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  52. you are such a beautiful person INSIDE and out, and understand so much more than your years. This is so rare, and thank you for saying all of this. Hopefully whoever is making assumptions about you will read this and stop. Bless you and your family, and I wish I could send you money. (Not so abundant this week). Prayers for you also! :)

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  53. What beautiful words. It is hard to deal with assumptions, and to also know that you are projecting onto others as well. Good reminder to concentrate on God, and not let our own self get in the way.

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  54. thanks for posting this girl! it's true, we all assume too much. i definitely will be better at this.
    p.s. you look stunning as always girl!
    xo TJ

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  55. I'm not sure if you read all your comments, but I wanted to say thank you. Thank you so much for sharing this. I could not have said it any better. We all struggle with this, comparing and assuming things about one another. Not just in blog world but in everyday life. You never know what some people are really going through. I needed this today. I love the way you think, we are so alike.

    Thanks, Casey!

    Kristal
    sincerelyarizona

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  56. thank you for posting this. I feel totally convicted by this. I've actually made assumptions about you, and well, I don't know you at all! I've thought, "she's so adorable I bet she has it all straight and wonderful." And like you said, we post what we want to post on our blogs. All these awesome moms with super clean homes, skinny bods, awesome clothes, etc. are showing me what they want. Maybe their bathroom is chalk full of junk? or there is something in their lives that isn't all that dandy. I don't hope for that, but I'm saying is that assumptions aren't always the truth. Thank you for this.

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  57. I was literally just talking to a friend about this yesterday. About how we all make snap judgments about each other. It's just a part of life I think, no one can stop themselves from doing it, it just happens. But we also have to keep in mind, like you said, that there is a LOT we don't know about each other or about any given situation. You're faith is an inspiration, Casey.

    themindofaginger.blogspot.com

    - Katelyn

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  58. Casey-
    I don't know you at all. I visit your blog daily because your life is beautiful. Yeah that may only be what I see as a reader but I am grateful for your honesty and openness. Again, I don't know you personally, but I think we could potentially be great friends because I know I go through some of the same troubles that you talk about. This helps me immensely knowing that I am not alone and there is someone out there feeling exactly the way I do or going through the same thing.

    So I am writing to simply thank you! And you do a lot more for readers like me, than you know :)

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  59. I just noticed you changed your title thingy-guy. Very cute. And we spell our 'leighs' the same! :)

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  60. I find you so inspirational! Even during times of stress and heartache you trust in God and His great plan for you in your life! I thoroughly enjoy your posts! Thank you for speaking to me in MY life!

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  61. I love your thoughts in this post - I share them all with you - assumptions and desire for intimacy.
    I am a long time So Cal girl, I hope you're enjoying your stay!! Hope you are daily receiving the beauty that God has uniquely made in Southern California!!

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  62. very well said, casey! i'm so glad you speak your mind and you do it with such grace and humility.

    God will provide.

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  63. It really is a decision to make each day. I love how you designed this post.

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  64. totally agree! it's so easy to make assumptions...especially in the blogging world where people's lives look so fun and easy! people should never assume...and ps you're so beautiful it's crazy!!

    http://livelaughandlovealwaysss.blogspot.com/

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  65. The desire for intimacy isn't just a "casey" thing. If it's not a normal woman thing, then it's a "sarah" thing also... I crave intimacy in my relationships and I need more hours in a day to accomplish that! I'm struggling big time with maintaining long distance friendships while having a baby. It's not near as easy for me to pick up a phone and have a conversation as it used to be. Anytime I do, the baby starts fussing about something..or he needs to eat...needs my attention...needs a diaper change... always something. Which I am more than happy to oblige. But I find myself constantly having several people I need to call, and it never all gets done. And I'm not sure they all understand.

    You are a rock star and I love you! :)

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  66. Such an important lesson to learn and to remind us of. Well put, Casey! And looking lovely as always - you've got that California glow.

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  67. I freakin Luv your heart!!! Intimacy...my biggest life issue.. and i am so glad that you pointed out that the only way to have that void filled is through GOD how awesome is that!

    Thank you for this!

    ♥ <a href="http://piecesofluv.com>Pieces of Luv</a>

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  68. i like the new name of your blog! :)

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  69. Thank you for being so open and sharing. It is such an encouragement! I totally agree with what you've said about assumptions. We often do assume too much, and don't know what's going on in that other person's life.
    Leaning on HIM is the only true way to fill that desire for intimacy. What truth you share Casey. Have a lovely weekend with your hubby a littles. :-) I'll be praying your needs are met to finish your time out in CA without stress. Hugs.

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  70. I am 100% on that boat with you! I long for a real friend connection, and I often find myself guilty of envy towards other members of the blog world. Then I remember just what you said! Maybe there are others that envy the things I blog about or long to find the same kind of life I portray. I don't write about some of the painful things. And really, isn't intimacy with God to be our real need, our real driving force? I try to remember when I have those moments to find peace resting under God's wings around me.

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  71. I love this and it's so so true! I truly hope that you haven't gotten ugly comments about going to Disneyland, etc. We are in the same boat currently with money, student loans, etc. but if we aren't living in the moment, we'll be old foagies with a big 'ole bank account and have never have experienced life! Comparisons are an ugly ugly thing and I daily struggle with this too and have to keep reminding myself and prayerfully submitting this daily. I also long for intimacy which is why I love reading your blog and your daily reminders. I just love that God put you on my heart this past week while I was studying, this is what it's all about!! Wish we lived closer, I know we'd have tons to talk about on a daily basis. Just know that I'm here if you ever need anything and cowtown is not THAT far away :)

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  72. Lovely post. We have moved to IL after feeling like the Lord was calling us here. We quit our job and just went for it! God provided a job...it doesn't meet all our financial needs, but we're trusting that God will provide. He sees us! He see you! He knows every one of your needs before you even need a thing. He has a good plan and your role in the process is to have faith. To believe and remember that He is BIG and He loves you! Simple as that! Enjoy the love of Jesus today, lady!!!

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  73. You are so beautiful Casey and I love reading your blog. You are so right when you say that Jesus is the only ONE who can fill your void. It is a daily choice. When you are redeemed in Christ you have the choice to fill that void with Him or with the world [aka: our own desires]. Something that helps me is to delight in Him first thing in the morning. That way, I am prepared to face whatever the day brings to me, and when I mess up and choose not to delight in Him, I am reminded that tomorrow is a new day and His mercies are new every morning.
    You are a beautiful soul!
    redemptionisbeautiful.blogspot.com

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  74. Casey thank you so much for sharing what God has placed on your heart. Assumptions are such hard things to get away from. I am definitely struggling with those right now. I'm glad I'm not the only woman who desires passionate relationships. I have been seeking community so much lately, but I forget my main sense of intimacy and community needs to come from my relationship with the Lord. Again thank you thank you thank you Casey for always speaking the truth to my heart. :)

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