photo c/o: kristen rae photography
A due date approaching.
I haven't talked about the miscarriage in awhile. I realized something a
couple of days ago... Addison was due march 20... which really for us means February 20. (Both aiden and ainsleigh came a month early.) And then I realized that the Dallas Shine Event is that weekend. Ashley will be staying at our house and I can't think of a better thing to be doing that weekend. So as a due date approaches and will pass, we still remember.
All you mamas out there who have lost.
I think of you often.
A new humility and sensitivity has entered my spirit when it comes to this subject. As someone before who hadn't known the struggles of infertility or loss- I didn't notice what I notice now.
Lots of opportunities for those hurting in these areas to be "stung".
It doesn't sting me anymore.
I am at a different place- I can celebrate that life now without the sadness I did before. But my mind is constantly on those who are suffering in silent. I can't tell you how many times I have asked christopher "what do you think is the line?"...the line of celebrating a pregnancy and a new life, the excitement and joy and beauty in that... and the line where people are complaining and causing people to feel the sting.
I don't know what the exact line is.
Maybe its just that- celebrating, not complaining.
I remember a friend of mine lost a 3 month old. I remember knowing how horrible it was. But at 23 years old I didnt really grasp the loss. not really. Then when aiden was 3 months old I thought back on her. And then I thought of those complaining how tired they were...and how she felt hearing that. When she longed to hold her little one again.
And how days after my miscarriage that is how I felt reading status updates of gaining too much weight and people annoyed with morning sickness.
Sometimes when I want to complain, I make my mind go there.
In all areas.
It's good to.
It makes you sensitive to the heart's of others.
And that, that is a truly beautiful thing.