pregnancy after miscarriage.

March 08, 2012


I have gotten quite a few emails asking me how I deal with the fear of being pregnant again after miscarriage. Well- I will be honest, for me..at times...it is paralyzing. I understand that many women deal with fear in pregnancy but when you have walked through a miscarriage, thought everything was great and have been blind sited.... it has the potential to really mess with you. 
I have my *almost* 13 week sono tomorrow (Friday) and this is the one everything went wrong at last time. 
So being that I am terrified....I thought a perfect opportunity to tell you that I take it day by day

I have fully prepared myself to walk in that sono tomorrow and see a little baby with no heartbeat. A beautiful little soul with hands and feet, just like last time
No warning signs.
But you know what that is doing? It's robbing me of my joy...my excitement for this beautiful life growing in me. 

So I am choosing to fight it.

I had no signs of anything being wrong.... morning sickness was still there, no cramping, no nothing....just went in for a check up- no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing 2 weeks before.

I have rested a lot over the past 3 months on Romans 8:28.

I know He has purpose in even the things I cannot understand.

I have to believe that and rest in that. 
So, my friends...tomorrow is a big day. If all goes well this weekend I will be entering my 2nd trimester! **pinch me**
xoxo
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89 comments:

  1. i love that you talk so openly about this, things will be great we just have to have faith. i had a stillborn about the same time your lost your precious baby and there is nothing you can do to prepare for that. walking in and seeing no heartbeat there are no words, you are so strong. good luck tomorrow!! xoxo

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  2. Casey,

    I can't even imagine. I can imagine my reaction would be close to yours though. You are a strong woman & I love that you hold onto your faith so much. You are inspiring. I am continuing to pray for you and so is my Hubby. Many hugs sweet friend.

    xoxo

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  3. You will be just fine tomorrow Casey... Thoughts and prayers for ya!

    xx

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  4. Oh sweet Casey, I am praying for you each day! God has given you such a beautiful gift of being blessed with another child! He is so good. Keep your head high, and your heart strong, dear. You're loved and so is that little baby inside you :)
    xoxo
    Morgan

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  5. Our thoughts and prayers will be w/ you on Friday! Love ya!

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  6. Don't let satan steal your joy! God has given you this gift- ENJOY EVERY MINUTE!!!!!

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  7. My thoughts and prayers are always with you and your sweet family! I'll be thinking about you tomorrow! Make sure you update us :)

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  8. I remember feeling like that with my last 4 pregnancies. It was hard to enjoy being pregnant with the fear of miscarriage or sitting in the sonogram room with the news of "no heartbeat". My doctor told me he sees a lot of women who are so scared because of previous miscarriages, they have a hard time enjoying their pregnancies. Prayers for great news tomorrow and a wonderful rest of your pregnancy! <3

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  9. Great timing for me to read this. Miscarried in Oct/Nov, and 5 weeks along in my second pregnancy now. Had an ultrasound yesterday and baby is looking small, scarily similar to the last time. Good luck to you with your baby, and thanks for writing this!

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  10. will keep you in our prayers this evening.

    much love,

    k

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  11. Praying your appt. goes well tomorrow. Thank you so much for posting about this - it's so easy to allow our joy to be stolen in hard times.

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  12. May God be with you and that little one growing inside! I just had a close friend miscarrie last week and I can't find the words to say. I can't even begin that kind of loss. Thank you for staying so positive

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  13. you are an amazing person! Thanks for sharing love!

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  14. All of the positive energy for you and your family! I will be looking for your post tomorrow letting us know how everything goes but my heart hopes you'll be bringing home good news.

    I know your strong and everything will go the way it is suppose to.

    -Madeline Grace
    Just Let the Sparrows Fly

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  15. best of luck tomorrow~ i'll say a prayer for you and the baby!

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  16. I miscarried my first pregnancy at 5 weeks and got pregnant the very next month. It was so hard to try and enjoy the pregnancy. Every cramp, every pain, every ultrasound brought on panic and worry. I kind of feel like I was robbed of that "carefree" {I know there are no real carefree pregnancies} innocence of your first pregnancy. It did get better though. The farther along I got the more I could relax and just enjoy that wonderful time. With my second son Heavenly Father blessed me with an incredible peace that allowed me to relax and really enjoy that pregnancy with much less worry. I pray that as you get further along that your worries will subside and that you will feel a calm and peace. Thank you so much for sharing your story and journey, you are touching so many lives.

    Summer

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  17. Sending prayers your way!! I know everything will be fine!!

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  18. you are a faithful daughter to our King, so you are on the right path with your thinking hon! Satan comes for three things the bible tells us: To Kill , steal and destroy, well he isn't getting THIS one.

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  19. praying for your little one...thanks for letting us follow your family. You are a sweet soul full of love, hope, faith & strength!

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  20. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow! It's so hard trying to be optimistic. I just found out I'm 5 weeks, first time, and man it's pretty scary!

    All the best, and looking forward to your next post and hearing about how well your appointment went!

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  21. you are so brave and so strong, and i really admire that. Also being able to pass on your positivity to those asking about it, chances are you're helping someone else going through the same thing. everything is going to be ok.

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  22. You are such a strong woman and I admire you mindset. I will be thinking and praying for you!

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  23. Sending all positive vibes your way Casey! Hoping all goes well tomorrow! xoxo

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  24. Thinking of you and I understand where you are coming from. Hang in there. You are much more stronger then you think.

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  25. Praying for a good appointment for you tomorrow and that you can hold onto the joy and excitement of seeing your little one.

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  26. Good luck Casey! You bring strength to so many women and we are praying for your good news!

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  27. Something I did to help comfort me was, of course prayer, but I also went to belly beats and rented a Doppler. It's $25/month, and i only used it until I could feel my baby move...my peace of mind was well worth the cost :)

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  28. Something I did to help comfort me was, of course prayer, but I also went to belly beats and rented a Doppler. It's $25/month, and i only used it until I could feel my baby move...my peace of mind was well worth the cost :)

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  29. you are amazing, and God will be with you every step of the way... he's got your back, your his child!

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  30. TY for being so open and honest with your story! GL tomorrow at your appt

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  31. I saw this charm today and I thought of you. It says I am not afraid, I was born to do this. God has given us so much, and not more than we can handle. Truly. You CAN handle this, with HIS help, and our help. I am so proud of you. Here is the link to the shop: http://www.shop.tinasteinberg.com/Joan-of-Arc-Tag-Style-Necklace-SCTS-JOATag.htm;jsessionid=A431DABD9466BB5BA0BF81D08CAFBC06.qscstrfrnt05

    Praying for you.
    xo

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  32. Thank you for your honesty--and I will be keeping my finger and toes crossed for you for tomorrow.

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  33. We lost our daughter at 23 weeks and I too thought we were "safe" when we made it past 12 weeks and especially since we were *soclose* to that magical 24 week viability. I have since learned from new friends I have made that sometimes babies die at 8 weeks for no reason, sometimes it's at 16 weeks, sometimes it's even at 32, 36, 39, 40 weeks- very often in otherwise "normal" healthy, uncomplicated pregnancies. (And don't even get me started on SIDS!)

    Anyway, needless to say, I was really really stressed out for most of my pregnancy with our son. There were days that I could relax and enjoy being pregnant and days when there was no way I could imagine bringing a baby home. You just have to take it one day at a time and I felt a certain peace in knowing that whatever happened was really not in my control.

    Anyway, I hope your ultrasound goes well tomorrow!

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  34. Wow, thanks for sharing this! Saying a prayer for you guys. I love that scripture as well, I can get through anything knowing God has a plan, even when it all seems so chaotic and unpredictable.

    Jenn

    passengerseatperspectives.blogspot.com

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  35. thank you for sharing that. you and many women out there are so strong.

    http://mrmrssorensen.blogspot.com

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  36. You have the most precious blog posts! So thankful to of found your blog. Very inspiring, and uplifting.
    http://mereandthemr.blogspot.com/

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  37. You have the most precious blog posts! So thankful to of found your blog. Very inspiring, and uplifting.
    http://mereandthemr.blogspot.com/

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  38. I will be praying for you. My mom had a miscarriage when I was young and then got pregnant right away again and my sister was born. I'm sure it was harder on her than on us but I just think about that if she hadn't lost that pregnancy we wouldn't have my sister and I truly can not imagine my life without her in it. Praying God calms your fears and gives you a wonderful, healthy, beautiful baby to love.

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  39. Best of luck and many blessings for you! For HE knows the plans for you....

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  40. Casey Casey Casey. I love this. My biggest fear is getting pregnant and then losing the baby. I've never been pregnant but I still get this gut wrenching fear when I think about it. You're so brave to share your fears and joys so publicly. I LOVE YOU!

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  41. As someone who has experienced a miscarriage as well as infertility, I understand that paralyzing fear once a pregnancy happens. Good for you for fighting that fear! It's a hard thing to do! Praying for peace for you and for a great doc appt tomorrow!
    Ashley:)

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  42. I am praying today for your sweet baby. It must be strange to be excited about your new baby, while still grieving the loss.

    I lost my first baby ... ages ago. Now, I love the thought of my baby going straight to Jesus, never even knowing sin. But lots of grieving, too.

    Thanks for sharing about this important topic.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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  43. I, too, have suffered through pregnancy loss and your advice could not be more true. You have to take it DAY BY DAY! It's the only way. Praying for you tomorrow.

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  44. Love and appreciate your openness here. Best of luck to you - I'll be sending you good vibes tomorrow.

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  45. Hi Casey, I can really relate to fear in pregnancy. Almost 5 weeks ago we lost our precious baby, Elias at 19 1/2 weeks. The thought of another pregnancy is both exciting and terrifying. Keep Trusting Him, and taking it a day at a time...it's our only choice :)Feel free to read about our journey here http://www.thepoppinslife.blogspot.com

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  46. I truly know what you're going through. I'm currently 27 weeks pregnant but two months before this pregnancy, I suffered a miscarriage. After the first MC I wasn't sure I even ever wanted to try again. Everytime I would use the bathroom, there was fear and hesitation. I just couldn't go through such a heart break again. I was so paralyzed that I finally called out to God and told him to do what he would. It was his creation and his child. If he would let me keep the little one inside me, I would understand, but if it wasn't his plan I would understand as well. The second part was so hard for me to pray. That was at around 8 weeks and I'm still going strong. I still have my fears every now and then, but I'm trying to not let it take over my mind and rob me of my joy. I wish you great blessings!

    Vonae Deyshawn
    www.myvirtueplace.com

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  47. Praying for the best for you, your family and little baby!

    I know the fear of pregnancy after miscarriage.
    I had two miscarriages before I had my three little ones. It's like you said paralyzing!

    *HUGS*

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  48. Sending some positive energy to you! Thank you for being so open and honest. <3

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  49. I loved reading this and knowing that I am not alone in the fact that I catch the worry overriding the joy sometimes. My hubby and I lost our first little boy at 33 weeks a little over three years ago and we are now 30 weeks along with our second little guy. We, too, had no warning signs that anything was wrong - we had actually been at the doctor the week before we lost him. It is frightening at times but I try to keep reminding myself that he is in God's hands and that I just have to let go of the fear and put all of my faith in Him, all of my trust. Reading your posts helps a lot, too <3

    Best of wishes with this pregnancy, Casey! All of my thoughts and prayers are with you and your growing little babe!

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  50. I know exactly how you are feeling friend. Prsying for a peace that surpasses all understanding :)

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  51. I hope everything goes fine tomorrow :) You and your little one will be in my prayers x

    Say :)
    eighteenthofmay.blogspot.com

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  52. I just love your sweet sweet heart. You are definitely blessed with a loving soul. Thanks for being so open! :) Praying peace and comfort for you tomorrow!

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  53. Will be thinking of you, everything WILL be great :D xoxoxxo

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  54. thank you for always being so real with us. best of luck tomorrow! <3

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  55. you are always so inspring and strong. thank you for being so willing to share this. and i know that all of us will be praying for you to come out with all great news. and cling on to that verse with your whole heart!
    xo TJ

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  56. I will be thinking of you tomorrow sweetie and pray that all is well and you and this precious gift are healthy! :) Jeremiah 29:11 promises us HOPE and a future and this is what I cling to! May you be filled with hope and the promise of a future with this little gift from God!
    melody-mae.blogspot.com

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  57. Praying for you and that tomorrow is a wonderful day! :)

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  58. praying for you! i had a major subchorionic hemorrhage at 9 weeks...so scary! i prepare myself for the worst at every appt. your post will help a lot of mamas..great scripture. i am 14 weeks...so right by ya!

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  59. I hope everything just goes perfectly tomorrow! Keep us updated! Something I try to remember when I'm worrying about the worst case scenario, is a quote I read (I think it was from Michael J Fox?) that said something to the effect of, "if you worry about the worst thing happening, and it happens, then you've lived it twice." I don't want to live it twice, I want the joy! Good luck!!!

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  60. sending you as many positive thoughts and prayers as I can your way tomorrow!

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  61. Be strong. I know it's easier said than done. I just found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant and although I'm over joyed, I'm riddled with doubt and fear, and all those other nasty feelings. But just know that there are people that are praying for you, even those you dont know or have never met.
    I'll say a prayer for you tonight :)

    God is always in control.

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  62. Praying for your appointment tomorrow and that God's peace will rest on your family!

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  63. I know exactly how you feel. I miscarried right before I got pregnant with my (now) four year old daughter. I swear I didn't breathe once during her entire pregnancy, and as she was delivered, I must have said thank you a million times to my ob for getting me through a very long nine months. I also rented a doppler (worth every penny of the 25 bucks a month) so I could hear her heartbeat while at home.

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  64. This same awful scenario happened to me too Casey. So I feel your pain and pray for you and a healthy, happy pregnancy. Linking up my post I wrote about it, if you get a chance swing by!

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  65. Casey, I feel your pain. I'll be honest with you because you're so honest with us.
    In November, I got pregnant for the first time after a year of surgeries, IUI, IVF, bad news, and disappointment. I was happy for the first time in a year, truly happy. A week later I found out it was ectopic and two weeks after that, I passed everything and it took a huge part of my heart. I'm now healed and it's time to do IVF again but I'm terrified. I'm so scared of losing another baby. I don't know if I can ever come back from that if it happens again.
    Through it all, I go to work where no one knows. I see my pregnant friends and I'm thrilled for them but it really really hurts.
    I just had to get that out.
    Thank you for listening.

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  66. Casey, I miscarried after my first two children and until my third baby was in my arms, I still had worry in the back of my mind. I think you always will, but you just have to be confident that whatever happens is part of God's plan. I wish you the very best tomorrow and smooth 2nd and 3rd trimesters. Hugs! -Kristen

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  67. You, your family, and the little one in your belly are all in my prayers. I sincerely hope everything goes well tomorrow. God is love.

    katelyn-innervision.blogspot.com

    - Katelyn

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  68. I'll say a prayer for you tonight. :) Blessings!

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  69. i'll be including you in my prayers tonight casey girl..and don't you worry. you are right about not letting that worry steal your joy...God is with you every step of the way, day by day, no doubt! Sending lots of love & hugs!!

    reminds me of a song we sang at church, 'step by step' by rich mullins.

    xo
    beelittlequeen.blogspot.com

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  70. Will be praying for you, Casey. I've been there. I too found out I had miscarried at a routine 12 week ultrasound. It was heartbreaking, and made my subsequent pregnancy terrifying at times. Fast forward, and I am at home with my sweet precious healthy baby. I pray that the same happens for you.Philippians 4:6-7 was my mantra.

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  71. Oh Lord, good luck. I will be thinking of you. <3

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  72. praying with you, sweet friend. you have such a tender heart to share something so private with us. much love.

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  73. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Casey.

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  74. Praying for you this morning. Jeremiah 29:11 is also a verse I refer to often to guide me.

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  75. Thinking of you and sending prayers for positive news today! We lost our daughter 23wks into my first pregnancy and my subsequent pregnancy with my son was very difficult at times. As you said your mind does like to try and bring fear into your soul. Stand strong in your faith & I LOVE the verse you shared. Hold to your joy and hope for this beautiful new life ((hugs))

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  76. Im going to say a prayer for you. I know how scary it can be after one miscarriage.
    I had two right in a row, and I was so afraid after the first one. My joy was robbed I didnt celebrate or tell anyone. And I regret that. Its good that you realize that and are not going to let the fear steal your joy. *hugs*!

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  77. praying for you & your sweet family

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  78. Praying for you & your sweet family

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  79. "I know He has purpose in even the things I cannot understand."

    Casey, you should make a piece of art with that beautiful quote on it.

    There have been a lot of painful things that have happened to me in the past six years that I do not understand...and sometimes our faith gets weak and being so heartbroken, it's easy to believe Satan's lies and to fall into the trap of believing that God just doesn't care if we're hurting. Of course, we know that isn't true and your quote so beautifully expresses how important it is to hold tight to that truth.

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  80. Definitely not an easy thing to get over, but I pray that you will be at ease and that the sono goes well today with this pregnancy.

    xo L.

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  81. I've had 5 miscarriages and I carry the scars on my heart from each one of them. I am blessed to have 5 children and each of my pregnancies was filled with a mixture of fear, joy and awe. Each one of my children is a reminder to embrace the joy of life, to savor every moment that is given to you. Thank you for this post, it moved me to tears. Good luck, I'm saying a little prayer for you.

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  82. I hope everything went well!!!

    - Sarah
    http://agirlintransit.blogspot.com

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  83. Good luck Casey! I had a very similar experience with my first pregnancy, except I discovered there were two little bubs in there, with no heartbeat. In my following pregnancy I remember waiting for my 12 week scan in tears in the waiting room, so terrified. The elation and relief when I saw that little flutter on the screen was indescribable. xx

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  84. Hello Casey! I have chosen your awesome blog for the Sunshine blog award. I enjoy reading your posts! You are awesome! you and your blog.
    Copy and paste my blog's link to see the award :)

    http://barefootinbluejeans-courtyb.blogspot.com/2012/03/sunshine-award.html

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  85. The verse you shared is so exactly fitting for this season of my life. thank you. and thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing these thoughts.

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  86. I experienced my 2nd miscarriage two months ago and coming across your blog has been really helpful. I had my first miscarriage in 09 and my daughter was born Dec 2010. Then this June we lost a baby at 6 weeks. After doing some tests we know my body is low on progesterone. Hopefully, the meds and with Gods grace we can give our daughter a sibling. If not, we already have been beyond blessed and I agree its all about taking it day by day. NO matter how far along someone is its still a loss.
    Its, so great seeing you have been blessed with your third and another sweet baby girl! Congrats to you and your family and thanks again for being brave and being there for us other moms.
    -heidi

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  87. Thank you for sharing your fears. It's nice to know you're not the only one scared to death that something wrong is going to happen with your baby once you've had a previous miscarriage. You want to get excited but at the same time, have reservations because you don't want to get your hopes up. I fully trust that The Lord has a perfect plan and reason why our babies didn't last full term. I believe there's a special place in heaven for our babies. I'm 13 weeks tomorrow and already saw heartbeat and baby moving around...wow, didn't know how amazing that would be...thank you for reminding us to not let satan steal our joy, because he tried to rob us of that.

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