oh so weepy

August 26, 2012

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I don't have the words right now, I just had a moment where I stood in the shower and let a week of tears that have slowly been building overflow from my soul.

They just kept coming and coming and coming.


and coming.

On Tuesday, the day of Apple's birth, we were robbed. It's a long story.

Then on Saturday we left the hospital without our sweet Apple. Normally when I am feeling emotional or weepy, I would write but I am feeling a bit vulnerable today. So at first I held back and was at a block...now I am just trying to get this all out. 

Leaving without her was just like I remembered.....awful. 

We got home and when the kids were dropped off they both were throwing up, coughing and extremely lethargic. We decided to tag.team...I would take Aiden and Chris would take care of Ainsleigh. I had a c.section so I don't have the ability to lift or hold them which makes this tricky. Plus, I am vulnerable for infection and really don't want to transport any sort of illness to Apple in the NICU. 


Unfortunately our sweet Apple, just like Aiden & Ains, is having trouble breathing on her own right now. She is on cPAP and feeding tubes but is making good progress. Weight really doesn't mean much in our case because she is a great weight. All three of my kiddos were healthy weights but struggled to breathe on their own when they were born.


Both kids were up the entire night throwing up. My mother in law picked me up early so that I could head to the NICU- I wanted to see & hold Apple and needed to drop off all of the milk that I had for her. (from pumping). By the time we finished there Chris said that we needed to head to Children's Hospital with Aiden and Ainsleigh. He spoke to our pediatrician and she told us to head right over. 

After lots of tests and talking to various doctors, we were told that they had the same virus but that it had triggered a horrible asthma attack in Aiden. We have a nebulizer machine at home for Aiden's severe asthma and had been doing his treatments all night, even after those and the treatments at the hospital- his oxygen was still dangerously low. They decided Ainsleigh could be released and Aiden needed to be admitted. Everything is sort of a blur. Aiden was incredibly upset and wanted me to stay- which is triggering an onslaught of tears right now. He kept saying things to the doctor like "please fix me so I can go home." 

My mama heart was shattered today. 
over and over. 
And I feel helpless. 

My mother in law, Ainsleigh and I left Chris & Aiden at the hospital. Ainsleigh is still sick and needed to get home. I am still pumping every 3 hours, on pain meds from the surgery and can't lift or hold the kids so tonight we will be here (ainsleigh, marilyn and I)....then in the morning I will first get dropped off to see Apple and leave milk with the NICU, then I will be picked up (not allowed to drive after c section) and dropped off over at Children's to be with Aiden (and Chris). 

Thank you so much for all the sweet words and love sent our way. 
It really means a lot to me. 

I know that this too shall pass....When I focus on the positive- I am thankful for three sweet kiddos, I am thankful for Chris- words don't do him justice, I am thankful that we met our insurance deductible, I am thankful that my milk has just poured in because of all of these emotions etc, I am thankful for help & support when times are hard and all of the people that are there for us..... I am writing this without editing it so this post could just be an ongoing string of words and emotions- thank you for listening:) and thank you for the prayers and good vibes....we need all we can get right now. 
xoxo

172 comments:

  1. Praying for you momma. My heart is broken for you seeing those beautiful babies of yours in the pictures of this post. Ugh. Deep breath. God will pull you all through this just like he always does.

    Praying lots and lots. Praying supernatural strength and encouragement to your soul-healting for you and the kiddos.

    Get some rest tonight!

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  2. Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
    6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

    praying this verse over you sweet girl.

    proverbs 3:5-6

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  3. praying for you sweet friend. wish I was home right now I would come help you somehow. Praying for all your precious littles and that God would show you His goodness right now!! love you girl.

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  4. sending lots of love, hugs and prayers for you, sweet friend! you can do hard things! xoxo

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  5. My prayers are with you and your family. As a college student who is just starting life, I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through. But God has a plan and you will get through it. Hope things getting better ASAP and they let your son Aiden out of the hospital.

    <3Caity

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  6. Bless your heart, sweet Casey. I just prayed, for each one of you. May God give you rest, healing, peace and joy as your family is fighting through this difficult time.

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  7. Oh my goodness! Your poor family, you truly are superwoman! My heart is breaking for you, I'm sure you want to be everywhere at once! Praying for you and hoping everyone recovers quickly! xo

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  8. Casey,

    my heart goes out to you. you are such a strong and brave young woman! I am praying for sweet Apple and precious Aiden and that both kids can go home SOON!

    "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to give you a hope and a future. plans to prosper and not to harm you." (Jeremiah 29:11)

    Dear God,

    Heal Aiden and Apple and allow them both to return Home. give Casey and chris energy to care for their beautiful children. you have a plan and although this is so hard, this is part of your plan.. you are the great healer and author of our lives. give chris and casey and all 3 children and the mother in law a good night sleep and energy to face tomorrow and the days ahead. Casey is such a beautiful and strong woman. thank you for connecting us. you love each of these beautiful people dearly.

    Amen.

    Blessings sweet, precious friend and sister in Christ,

    Jessica
    (I am @jessicaebersole from twitter in case you were wondering)

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  9. Casey, I've never commented before but have been a reader of your blog for awhile. I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you tonight. I can't imagine all that you're going through. May God continue to hold you and comfort you during these trying times.

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  10. Im so sorry for these trials. I am praying in Jesus Name that the attacks would end That No weapon that is formed against you will prosper { Is 54:17 }...

    God is faithful.... hang in there sweet friend.
    I will continue to pray.

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  11. Hang in there beautiful. And just breathe. Every.thing. is going to be okay. Walk with the clouds, they will part soon and it will be a very.very.very nice rainbow. Prayers for you and your husband and your three precious babies. And for the angels in your lives helping.

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  12. sending prayers your way casey. xxO

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  13. Oh Casey, I am so sorry. I was hoping you'd have some better news by now...my heart is so sad for you. Praying that things turn around by morning! Hugs!

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  14. sending you sweet positive vibes and prayers. you and your family is so beautiful.
    how great will be your joy when you are all together once again!! may it be sooner than later. hugs.

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  15. oh my goodness, I cannot imagine! you are so strong and a wonderful mother & woman! being a mama to two littles myself, my heart wants to reach out to you and hug you and help in whatever way I can, if only I lived closer! I will pray for you, your beautiful littles and your family. may God wrap y'all up in His loving arms and heal your babies. stay strong, positive and loving girl! He is in control! thank you for sharing your heart. you're in my prayers!
    much much love!

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  16. Oh my. Your just being tested. You will get through this. Hugs. Xoxo

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  17. Sending so much love and prayers your way. The timing could not be worse for you guys. I'm a NICU mama too. Hugs.

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  18. Prayers for you and your family Casey. Hang in there. hugs.

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  19. Precious Casey. I pray this for you now with tears in my eyes.... Abba, we need you now for this precious family. In Jesus name I bind every attack of the enemy against this family - to bring fear and doubt and any harm to their babies or to Casey and Chris. Put mighty warring angels all around them and angels at the bedside of little Apple and Aiden. Bring angels to sing over and minister your peace to Aiden. Do something miraculous - signs and wonders to glorify yourself oh Lord. Comfort your daughter, wrap her in the warm blanket of your mercy and love. Carry them. Restore what has been taken from them. We need you Daddy!!! Do something huge. We are waiting for you to come through. We love you.

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  20. sweet Casey - you, chris and each one of your kiddos are so loved. i will be praying for you fiercely tonight and in the next few days. take as many showers as you need, cry as much as you want and know that your bloggers and the body of Christ are here for you in whatever way we can.

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  21. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful family, you'll make it through these tough times and soon get to enjoy time as a family of five. xo

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  22. Going to say a prayer for you and your family! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing because when you hear other people's troubles, your own become so small and non-important. I pray God will give you strength to go through it all and have your babies safely at home.
    God bless!

    happymedley.blogspot.com

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  23. I wish I could give you a hug right now! I can only imagine what you're going through with all the little ones. You're such a brave girl. My heart and prayers are with you and your family.

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  24. praying for you and your precious family, sweet friend!

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  25. You are such a wonderful and strong mommy Casey! I am praying for you and your family. I hope that everything gets better soon! This stress is so difficult, especially when you have just given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Please know that you DO have people that are here for you and that will listen and talk whenever you need it. We love you and your family! ♥ Keep on fighting hun!

    Katlyn
    www.thedreamymeadow.com

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  26. I am so so sorry you are going through this. Praying for peace, comfort, healing, and patience for you, Chris, and all 3 of your children. Lord, please wrap your loving arms around this family. xoxo

    Kasha

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  27. God bless you and your family, Casey. And Congratulations on your sweet baby, Apple! You're right - this too shall pass and your brave, strong family will prevail! Praying for a healing and fast recovery time for you & your sweet children! ❤

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  28. You sweet, sweet thing. This too shall pass, but it doesn't make the journey any lighter, does it? Thank you for posting an update and know you are in the hearts and prayers of many!
    God bless.

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  29. Oh, poor girl! When it rains it pours, huh? So sorry to hear you're going through all of this... but you have the best mindset you can have-- this too shall pass. God is sovereign and you can do all things in His strength. Lean on Him, cry when you must, and know you are loved and not alone! I'll be praying for you, your babies, and your sweet family. Thank God for amazing husbands, huh? Much love and hugs!!

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  30. Oh my goodness! Many prayers all around!

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  31. Much love and blessings to you and your family. You are in all of our thoughts and prayers.

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  32. Oh sweet Casey. Pray Jesus' comfort all over your mama heart.

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  33. Thank you for sharing your heart. I am so sorry you are being torn in every direction possible. God is up to something bigger than you could ever imagine. Your family is in our prayers.

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  34. Oh, I am so, so sorry to hear that you are going through this! You will be in my prayers. We have had some very, very similar experiences, due to having two little girls with complicated medical issues. I remember leaving one baby in the hospital to spend a quick night at home, only to wake in the morning to find our neighborhood surrounded by flood waters, preventing my return to the hospital, and realizing that little sis at home needed to be seen at the ER stat. So stressful, I'm aching for you, knowing very well the emotions you are experiencing right now! You will be stronger for this, and have some amazing stories to tell of the Lord's tender mercies that will soon be evident. Your family will be in my prayers!

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  35. Praying for you and your fam! If there is anything we can send or do, please let me know!

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  36. sweet Jesus, i come to you tonight on behalf of a sweet sister who is just exhausted and whose mama heart has been broken many times this week. we pray that your healing hand would be upon their entire family. that you would heal aiden & ains quickly & that aiden could go home. father, we ask that baby apple would grow & be able to sustain breathing on her own. we know you are the great physician & thank you for the health we take for granted. may many use their hands & feet to bring them your love & peace & blessings. thank you for being so gracious to us. may casey & chris rest well in knowing you have them in the palm of your hand. amen.

    love you mamas. & sweet dreams.

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  37. When it rains, it pours. Praying that this passes quickly and all your babies are healthy and home soon.

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  38. praying for you, sweet momma. your heart of love for your family shines through all your words and i'm wiping away tears after reading this post. praying for healing, comfort, and quick recovery for everyone...so you can all be under one roof SOON. until then, hugs and prayers! xo.

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  39. Lots of love and prayers coming your way. <3

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  40. I just discovered your beautiful blog and so sad to see this post. I hope you all get better soon. You need to stay strong in this though moment, courage my friend.

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  41. casey and family,
    my heart is broken for you guys. there is nothing worse than feeling powerless when it comes to not being able to be there for your kids in the way you want, to take away their pain and make things 100% perfect again. you have been on my heart intensely anyway, and i am touched you would let us know specifically how we may pray. many love you, the Lord loves you, and i send you a hug from afar. Lord, let you healing power flow through all three wiegand babies. we know the blood you shed on the cross covers these ailments at this very moment. give chris and casey and their support system strength, clarity, wisdom, and PEACE. we thank you for the legacy the wiegands are striving to leave their children, and that one day they will read these heartfelt words and be so, so blessed.
    in your name, amen.

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  42. You don't know me, but I read your blog and my daughter attended your art camp this summer. Praying for you guys...healing for your babies and strength and a peace that passes understanding.

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  43. Oh I got tears in my eyes just reading this post and everything you're going through... sometimes it feels like it pours all at once and it's so hard. Hang in there mama. Sending lots of prayers from our family to yours!

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  44. bless your heart. your post has me in tears, i feel so bad that you're going through this. lifting you and your family up in prayer tonight, stay strong mama.

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  45. Stay strong Casey. With tears in my eyes I'm writing this. I cannot believe what you are all going through at this time. You will get there, keep letting it out and striding forward. Thinking of you from Aussie land!

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  46. PS. Apple is gorgeous!! Well done and congratulations.

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  47. oh hun, i can't imagine having to leave your babies in the hospital. i've never had to experience it, let alone after having a baby & having your hormones all over the place. i'm 33wks pregnant with twins and my biggest fear is leaving my two boys to be in the hospital & then having to leave the hospital bc I know my girls will have to stay there at least a week. Lots of prayers for you my sweetie. God is so good and will carry you through this rough time.
    xoxo

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  48. Praying for you and your family Casey. I hope that soon you will be able to go home with your precious children. You are a very strong&couragious woman and you have a loving and supportive husband that will help you get through this. Stay strong and things will get better..Take care..xx

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  50. Oh Casey, my heart breaks for you and all that you have had to endure. I pray that the clouds begin to clear and the sun begins to shine once more for your family.

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  51. You poor thing :( that's a lot to handle emotionally and physically for anyone let alone someone who just gave birth. I'm so sorry your happy moment had to be tainted by all of that. I will be praying for you and your sweet family!

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  52. Oh my goodness!!! Sending prayers & hugs!

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  53. I don't know how you do it! You are amazing and strong! I haven't even had my baby and I'm and emotional hormonal wreck! God has truly blessed you with a wonderful husband and mother in law! Both are great treasures! Praying for you and your precious family!

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  54. Prayers going up for you. My heart breaks for you. Take care of yourself so you can take care of them.

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  55. Oh, my heart. I'm lifting you up this morning, taking your name to the One who holds it all. You are strong and brave, walking this path. <3

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  56. When it rains, it just pours. Just like you said, "this too shall pass". You're a tough chicken. x

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  57. Been praying for your family Casey. I just knew you'd been on my heart but didn't realize how much you've been through. I will continue to remember your family in my prayers.

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  58. oh Casey. We are praying for you and your family. Just remember that God's hand is in everything even when it's hard. He's there to support you and even though we have never met, so am I and all your readers. Hang in there lady, they're all little fighters and will be home and in your arms in no time!

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  59. Prayers for you all! You are such a strong family!

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  60. Much love and prayers to you and your family Casey! :)

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  61. God is doing something great through all the blur in your life right now. It may never be revealed, but there is a plan and a purpose. Hold on sweet girl. It will get better. Praying for you.

    -Amy
    http://theblankpagesblog.blogspot.com/

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  62. I've been reading your blog for a while but have never commented. Both my girls started their lives in the NICU so I understand the pain and heartache in leaving your babes behind. But I am so sorry to hear both your other littles are ill and one has to be in the hospital as well. One momma can only be so strong. Many prayers and love coming your way from!!

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  63. So many prayers for each and every one of you! Hang in there mama <3 HUGS

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  64. I wish I would live around the corner from your house. I would love to help, cook a big batch of chicken soup (the best remedy for everything) and drive around with you all. But I live in Germany so praying is all I can do at the moment - and so I do.

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  65. Sending healing positive peacefull calming thoughts y'alls way.
    RaNae in Justin @ Ewe Creek Cottage

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  66. I have read your blog for a while now but have never commented. My girls both started their lives in the NICU as well so I feel your pain in leaving a baby behind. But I am so sorry you have to deal with 2 other sick littles! Lots of love and prayers coming your way!

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  67. wow, i can't imagine what you are going through right now!!

    keep your head up.. things WILL get better :)

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  68. I'm praying for you. God is with you, He will carry you safely through the storm. {{hugs}}

    ~Bree

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  69. Casey, I am so sorry for everything that you are going through right now. Your post literally brings tears to my eyes. You and your family are in my prayers! And you are right, This too shall pass. I live by those words at times.

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  70. Many many prayers for you. If there is one momma in this world that I know will come out strong on the other side I know it's you. Stand there and sob as many times as you need to and keeping pressing on. God's helping carrying you along I just know it!

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  71. So praying for you. I hope you all feel better! <3

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  72. Saying a prayer for you and your family..you can do this..a firm embrace.

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  73. Praying for you this morning. I know the pain of not taking your little one home after birth...mine stayed in the NICU for a month. Hang in there....I pray the Lord Jesus brings you comfort and peace...in the midst of this little storm. He's holding all of you in His arms and drying your tears. This storm will pass sweet momma.

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  74. Praying for your sweet family. Life is hard, God is good.

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  75. I can't even imagine. You are a wonderful and brave soul and I pray for you and the family. Bless you and Chris and the three little A's.

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  76. I'm sorry your family is going through so much at once right now -- saying prayers for all of you. You are such a strong woman, Casey. <3

    Raechel
    http://ourislandoutlook.blogspot.com

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  77. Praying for your family. He give you the strength you need.

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  78. Oh Honey. I know I only "know" you through the internet and what you share here, but I just love you and your little family and my heart hurts for you right now! I am praying for every single one of you!

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  79. Hang in there, you will all pull through this and all will be well. Sending lots of love and prayers to you 5!

    xoxo andrea
    www.yesterdaystomorrowblog.com

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  80. Casey, you and your family are in my prayers. Please remember that you are a strong woman and you will make it through this! Your kids will make it through this as well! try not to get overwhelmed (easier said than done, I know). Please know that you have so many friends out here who are praying for you and sending you strength!! We love you and are here for you anytime you need someone to listen :)

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  81. Oh I will be upholding you and your sweet family in prayer, for an overflowing of grace and strength during this time of unexpected difficulties. That you will be able to bask in the beauty of new life, Apple, who joined your family. That you will feel great peace and joy regardless of troubled circumstances, and that you'll all rapidly recover so you can be together just as soon.

    ox

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  82. Casey and Chris, I will be praying for your whole family. I hope that you don't get sick, and that your kids get better fast. All three of them :)

    Please keep us updated.

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  83. Oh you poor thing. Being a new Mama is hard enough (emotions and hormones) but having three sick little ones is just overboard. I wondered what your sweet Apple was hooked up to....a Cpack. Haven't seen that on a baby. I hope everyone is well soon and you can all be at home cuddling. Prayers.

    Seriously you were robbed.....I just read where that happened to someone else that just had a baby...can't remember who.

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  84. Prayers to you and your family! May your beautiful children all heal quickly and may you and your husband's heart stay strong and be full of peace.

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  85. Praying, Praying, Praying for you all! I am praying for strength for you and Chris and comfort and peace for you all. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I truly believe God only gives you what you can handle, so he must think you are SUPER WOMAN. Hang in there and remember that all those awful "bumps in the road" of life only make the good things in life that much brighter and more extraordinary!

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  86. Sending prayers your way. As the saying goes, "When it rains, it pours" but soon you will have a rainbow :) Hang in there! xo, The Maxells

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  87. Oh, Casey. I'm so sorry. So many things to bring you down, but you also have SO many more things to build you up! Praying this passes soon!

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  88. Just sending love and prayers. My heart is hurting for you so bad right now.

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  89. Thinking of you and sending as much light and happiness and strength you need. You're a rockstar Casey and you're a perfect mama.

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  90. Praying for your mama heart, Casey. What a rough couple of days! So sorry about your house...that happened to me and my family this year as well and it's an awful experience. Lots of love to you and your littles and I hope you're all feeling much better soon!

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  91. Casey, I am sending so much love and good vibes to your family right now. I can only imagine how overwhelming it all is right now. This is just another challenge in which your family will prove its strength. You are an example to us all. Be well!

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  92. Oh Casey....I couldn't be more sorry for you guys and what you're going through!! We are all praying for you...praying for healing...security...health...and a chance to rebuild! You are an amazing Mama! Please believe that and don't be hard on yourself for something that you can't control. God is the great healer...this is all small to him...and he'll make it ok! Love you friend!!! Xoxo

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  93. Prayers heading your way angel!!!! Lots and lots!!!

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  94. Casey I'm so sorry to hear the bad news :( The enemy always attacks when he knows we are most vulnerable. I wish I was there to give you huge hugs and help. Instead I'll lift you and your beautiful family up in prayer. Prayer for healing, for strength, for wisdom, for comfort, and for peace. Love you friend xo

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  95. aw praying for you and your family, sweet friend <3


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  96. Oh Casey, my heart has been breaking for you dear. Ever since I saw your twitter message saying that A&A were in childrens hospital. I just don't know why all of this is happening to you and your beautiful family. And the robbery ontop of everything? My goodness. Thank you so much for the update. I will keep praying my little heart out for you and your family. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you sweet girl. Love you.

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  97. Praying for you every second!

    xoxo,
    Rachel Nicole @ Summer Breeze

    rachyracheshobbycorner.blogspot.com

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  98. bless you, bless you, bless you! im so sorry about everything - you are SO allowed to cry!!! hoping you get to be with your sick ones & nap together today! sending good thoughts & prayers...

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  99. casey. i cannot even communicate how much i'm thinking of you, how i'm hurting for you, how i'm hoping everyone's health (including yours) gets better and soon.

    this is a lot. you can do it, but i'm looking forward to calm waters in your future. and soon!

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  100. All of this grips my heart. Wow. Praying for all of you and amazed at the trial/blessing/trial/blessing situation. That's hard stuff and glorious stuff all at the same time. You're a sweet sweet lady and mama and wife. I pray God lifts you and carries you. I've had C-Sections and I've experienced NICU. Again - prayers. Blessings on your dear husband and family and friends who are helping.

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  101. I'm sorry momma. Sometimes everything hits all at once. This too shall pass. I said a prayer for your family.

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  102. Oh Casey, you don't know how much i wish i could just hop on a plane and come and help! Achingly wishing for your family to get well and past this! xoxoxoxo

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  103. I just recently came across your twitter and subscribed to your blog and my momma heart just breaks for you. You are being so strong! There's nothing I can do or say but say some prayers for you and your family! Much love and prayers your way!

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  104. praying praying praying for you and your sweet family.

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  105. Oh my gosh, you poor things. Life can be tough some times, but you just have to trust that the Lord has his reasons for the tests he sends us, and it is not for us to question him or his ways. I will be praying for the health of your children, for your emotional wellbeing and for the support of your family and friends, as you and your husband will need to reach out and take comfort from them and from the lord too.
    Love and hugs,
    Dawn.W xx

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  106. holy.crap. when it rains, it pours, eh? prayers your way, my dear.

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  107. Oh no :( sending you and your beautiful family lots of love and prayers.

    http://dreamingenfrancais.blogspot.com/

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  108. I have been there - with the sick babies in the hospital, with newborns in NICU, with the robbery - I can't imagine dealing with it all at once. All I can say is take every bit of help you get offered and remember that you have to be well to take care of them. Its pitiful as a momma to not be able to be there for everyone when they need you but let others take turns holding babies in the hospital, etc. I have often helped friends who were in need of a break from the hospital or needed to be at the hospital with snuggling their babies and loved every minute of it and it was no burden to me and those babies and I had a wonderful bond - let others share your burden - it enriches all of you. Many prayers coming your way.

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  109. Casey - May God bless your family during this difficult. Wishing you all good health! 'This too shall pass' xo

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  110. You are one strong lady. I'm praying for you and your beautiful little babes. I hope everyone is healing quickly and that this sickness is short lived for Aiden and Ainsleigh.

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  111. I'm a total stalker here, de-lurking today to say that I am on my knees for you, Chris and your three beautiful blessing-babies. Know that He is with you, and will give you strength.

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  112. Just seeing all your little ones in these pics makes my mommy heart ache!! I'm hurting for you right now and I will be praying constantly for Jesus to heal your kiddos and bring peace and comfort and health to your home right now and to strengthen you, sweetheart!

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  113. I know that nothing I can say could possibly help, but I'll still say this: Trust in the Lord!

    And, I am praying!

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  114. I am so sorry all of these hard things happened at once. I will be keeping your sweet kids in my prayers, praying for your speedy recovery also. Keep your head up, things will get better!!
    Hugs!!
    Jen

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  115. I'm just heartbroken to hear all you're going through with Apple and your bigger kiddos having a virus... and being robbed on top of that? Oh my!
    Will say a prayer that God does what only He can do - give you a peace that surpasses all understanding and make good out of anything!

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  116. praying for you and your beautiful family.

    it will all be ok i am sure--things will get better :)

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  117. Oh Casey. I don't even have the words. But I am covering you and your sweet babies in prayer! You are such a strong mama- keep trusting in Jesus.

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  118. I've never commented before, but love your blog and reading about your family. You are heavy on my heart today, and constantly in my prayers. I've walked a very similar path with many health trials, and our home was robbed when we were home in the middle of the night in January. The first chapter of James has been a constant reminder of God's promises,when we persevere through trials. Praying for health to be restored, your family to be together under one roof, and for there to be a peace that passes understanding until those things come to pass. James 1:12 (the message)12Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.
    ((hugs)) and prayers!

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  119. Praying for all of you! I know it is tuff on you right now and I am sure the Mommy in you wants to fix it and make it all better! I am so sorry, but just know you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  120. Oh Casey I don't know you but I have been keeping up on twitter and your blog and am just so heartbroken for you. How difficult this must be. I will pray for your family for strength and provision.

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  121. girl, your heart, mind, body and those of your kiddos and husband are in my prayers consistently over these tough days you are going through.

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  122. prayers. love. well wishes. hopes for strength and courage.

    all being sent your way.

    xo.

    danielle @ detrimentalbeauty.com

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  123. I've been a silent follower for a couple weeks (or more? not real sure..) But I had to reach out to you now. As a somewhat recent NICU mama (my now 1 yr old son was in the NICU a month and a week) I know how hard those days are and with all the extra piled on, i have no doubt you are at your limit! Definitely accept those offers to help and remember that it WILL get better!

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  124. Oh goodness Casey. My prayers are with you all that this week brings a turn around so that everyone is healthy quickly! Congrats on Apple's birth!

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  125. You are validated in all of your emotions, Casey. I really cannot imagine the stress and emotional anguish you're under. Know that many are praying, and that the God who has created each chil, complete with numbered days, has this under control too.

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  126. This is so hard.
    All my thougts and love are for your family.
    Hang on !

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  127. I am sooooo sorry! I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. hugs and prayers sent your way dear sweet girl!
    bless aiden's little sweet heart...
    xoxo
    tara

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  128. I feel like crying with you... I'll be praying for you all. Like you said, it will pass, but sometimes it seems so difficult. I'll have my 3rd C-Section in December so I know how you feel. That's hard enough, but even harder with the kiddos all being sick. Hoping each day gets better!

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  129. My heart is breaking seeing your NICU pictures, my first baby was a 33 weeker in the NICU. I am breathing a prayer for you even though we don't know each other, it's hard for people who haven't been through this to understand. God is faithful.

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  130. Praying for you and your precious family!

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  131. I'm so sorry, Casey. Sending hugs your way. Praying all your kids get better soon and Aidan and Apple can come home.

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  132. It's ok to feel weak and helpless, Casey. Jesus understands. He's been there. He loves you, and your sweet children, and He is in the process of making all things new.

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  133. My heart is broken for you right now and I can't imagine what you are going through. Sending prayers your way to your whole family! xo

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  134. My heart broke as I read this post. Please know that you have SO many people sending up SO many prayers on your behalf. While you may not have the strength yourself during this time, let others hold you up.

    Much love.

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  135. Im so sorry for all of that to be dumped on you at once...why does it always seem to be that way? Im praying for baby Apple and you and your hubs and you LO's. :)

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  136. Ugh. This breaks my heart, Casey. Thinking of you, praying for your family, and sending virtual hugs and get-well wishes for all. Love you!

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  137. i hope things get easier for you guys in the coming days. i'm sure they will! sometimes, a good cry is whatcha need to get ya through. good luck!!

    http://ohhhsolovely.blogspot.com/

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  138. Tears for you as I read this... Each one of your family is in our prayers. You are one amazing girl! Lots of love and prayers.

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  139. Prayers, love and well-wishes don't seem like enough, but it's free and travels faster than anything else your readers can do for you! I hope they caught the culprits and that you ALL feel better very very soon. Let those tears flow if you need to, and don't worry about rambling vents. That's what your outlet is about. Real life. We can all relate in our own way. My baby is almost 11, and had that same dinosaur neb mask. I hope you're done with that soon.

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  140. tears well up in my eyes reading this. i know how painful it is to see your child on tubes. my son is 18 months and already had 3 surgeries done, even one open heart at 3 months! this should have been happy days for you guys and i certainly hope they will come soon!
    stay strong!

    www.mamajulesbrussels.blogspot.com

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  141. Praying for you, your husband and sweet kiddos right now! I'm so sorry you are going through so much, I know everything will turn out okay though :)

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  142. I will be praying for your sweet family. Hang in there momma, this too shall pass. Having had a child in the hospital before, I know that it is so hard to see that when you're in the moment, but God uses every trial for good.

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  143. Praying for you and your sweet family.

    Isaiah 41:10 - So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

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  144. As a first time mom I had to leave my sweet baby girl at the hospital. She was born 6 weeks early. She too had to be on cpap, but two weeks later, she bounced back and will be turning nine this weekend. I wish I would have known of you and your art studio before we left Dallas. My girls would have loved it. All will be well!

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  145. reading this is killing me right now, because all i want to do is jump through this computer screen and make everything all better for you. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. You will be in my prayers every second of the day and I want you to know i love you! your sweet kiddos are lucky to have a momma who loves them oh-so-much!

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  146. Oh sweetheart, you poor thing.

    That saying is so true unfortunately, "When it rains, it pours."

    I remember this dark season I walked through last winter. I had bronchitis for a month. The crippling kind. Didn't even know I had what I had until I could barely move anymore. Once I got on antibiotics for that we had to rush my mom to the hospital because she couldn't move at all and had horrible hives. We still don't know what she had - but God healed her. And my dad thought he had shattered his elbow. To top it off my best friend had walked out of my life and I felt like I had no one.

    Just me. The shower. And my tears.

    So I get it. The overwhelming emotions. The shower is quite familiar with mine. I'm still somewhat in that season. But I know that God can get me through it.

    I saw this verse the other day, "But this is a simple thing in the eyes of the Lord..." 2 Kings 3:18a

    So even though everything is overwhelming right now. This is simple to God. He can take care of it. He already is taking care of it!

    Praying for you Casey.

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  147. The Lord only gives you what you can handle. You must be superwoman. Sending prayers your way.

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  148. Sending prayers to you sweet momma. nNot only for comfort and rest in your body, but strength for your hubby, and good health for those three sweet angels of yours!

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  149. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. Praying for your family and keeping you all in my thoughts.

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  150. Praying for you all. Peace and Love.

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  151. What a rough ride, my boy was in hospital with Pnuemonia a couple weeks ago it was really tough I cant imagine it wit ha new born and having had a C section. We did have a very tough birth with my husband in hospital at the same time though. So thanks for sharing your story to show me that god is still good and you can still trust in him x

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  152. I have only happened across your blog a few times, but I wanted to let you know that you are an incredible Mom and that you and your beautiful family will be in my continued prayers.

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  153. I have only happened across your blog a few times but wanted you to know that you are an incredible Mom and that you and your beautiful family are in my continued prayers.

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  154. oh Casey, my heart just breaks for you. Your entire family will be in my prayers, sweet friend.

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  155. i've been reading you for a while but have never commented...i just couldn't help myself with this post, it was heartbreaking. hang in there, you and your little family. my thoughts and prayers are with you. you are a beautiful person, and i've been uplifted by your posts many times.

    thank you for sharing your life, the good and the hard, and incredibly hard.

    sending love from arizona.

    ~lynsey

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  156. You will be in my prayers!
    You are such a brave women Casey! Keep being brave and amazing, my heart just broke when i read this post.
    Sarah
    xoxo

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  157. Wow. What is it about NICU families catching colds right now. We just went through this too. Unfortunately one of our twins did catch it and is still in NICU isolation because of it. I feel for ya mamma. Lots of love and prayers your way.

    xoxo

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  158. oh Casey ~ i'm sure you're a mess!!
    and you know what ~ it's OKAY!!
    this is alot at one time to deal with. Praying you *feel* the Father holding you close right now...May He surround you w. peace. May His healing pour over your family...and BREATHE His life into your little Apple.
    (HUGS)

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  159. Casey, you are a strong woman and a true inspiration. I am praying for you, your children, and your husband.

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  160. praying for you and your babies, sweet casey! you are such a strong and amazing momma, hang in there!

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  161. I am just getting caught up. I am so sorry that you are enduring such a stressful time. Your baby (and family!) are beautiful and I'm sure you'll be together and well soon. XOXO

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  162. oh wow. bless y'all's hearts. helps me to get my own worries into perspective. prayers. xo

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  163. Sending so much love and prayers your way. God entrusts the big crosses to those he dearly loves because he knows you will be a witness to many. I tear up thinking of the pain you went through this week - so much for one couple to bear. Love you Casey!

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  164. WOW!
    Your family is so amazing.
    I'm praying for your family and am so grateful to have found your words.
    I wish you all so much health!

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  165. Oh goodness, my heart is hurting for you!!! Praise God that everyone is ok, I know it's been an incredibly painful and difficult time for you!! Praying for your spirit and strength!

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  166. I know how hard it is having to leave the hospital without the baby. My Parker was too early and spent the first 11 days of his little life in the NICU. Having to leave him there and go home was horrible! I stretched out my stay as much as a I could. I would say "I'm in terrible pain" or... "I still haven't gone to the bathroom" thinking they would keep me just one more day so I wouldn't have to leave him.

    So happy that she's home now and happy!

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  167. Hi Casey! Stopping by via Living in Yellow. I read your blog for the first time today and have been drawn back all day. Reading your above post brings back some painful memories for me, I spent 8 days in hospital with my baby girl when she was 4 weeks old on humidified oxygen to help her breathing, we had a bunch of other personal stuff going on at the same time too and I understand the pain, the heartache and chaos, and the emotions you don't allow yourself to feel at the time. I'm still quite new to the blogging world but I just wanted to say thank you for giving me the courage to try and allow a little bit more of ''me" into my blog. Like you I am a sensitive soul but I have never felt like it was okay to be the way I am.. I have always felt like I should learn to tame it. Your writing is beautiful, thank you for being an inspiration. My blog and me will be all the better for finding your blog. Thank you x

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  168. this just broke my heart. so happy to see all of your healthy sweet babies and that this tough time has passed. prayers and good wishes for your family. i love your blog! totally hooked.

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