I posted this pic on instagram and had to share it here too. Someone commented that it looked like Aiden was sending sunlight out into the world....and that made me love this picture even more than I already did. It made me love it even more, because my daily prayer & hope is just that...that these babies and that Chris & I can be lights for our beliefs- and send "sunlight" out into the world.
I am big on "feeling deeply" letting yourself feel. Feel it all- the ugly and the hurt...along with the joy and the good.
I want to incorporate more music into my posts to help move your hearts a bit when you read. I put a sweet song above to listen to while you read :).
I often run to the grocery store early before anyone is awake. Once a week I hop into the car alone and set out to pick up what we need for the week. When I am leaving the store, without fail everytime, the doors automatically swing open as I am leaving// the wind and sunshine hit my face and I instantly close my eyes, smile and take in a deep breath of fresh air. The sun is normally just beginning to rise and is shining directly unto me.
I instantly thank God for my eye sight.
That I can SEE.
I thank Him that I can feel the sunlight on my cheeks
that I can smell the crisp air.
I thank Him for the ability to walk out of that store.
I thank Him for the huge gifts like touch, eye sight, hearing and walking that are all gifts daily taken for granted.
This is a weekly ritual. I never ever want to take it for granted.
It isn't promised to me.
I am so grateful for these gifts.
I am so grateful to be able to experience life with these gifts, to see the beauty, to smell it , feel it, taste it. I know that not everyone has these and that being grateful and giving thanks for these are and should be a natural overflow of my gratitude.
All this time later I am not sure if I would say I am thankful for the loss but I can say I am thankful now for how it changed me. FOREVER thankful that God redeemed it and gave me our precious Apple. Thankful that I can let my mind wonder sometimes, "who were you little one?"
You were in me. You were life.
and then you were gone.
I do carry that.
but I am truly okay now. I don't know the purpose. But I know I have Apple and she has my heart and soul.
I am thankful that the heartache from that made me better. It made my heart bigger.
It made me love better.
It made me a different person... along with my other life heartaches.
It made me understand.
If you are there right now, you know what I mean.
Thank you Lord that my heart is open to feeling.
The good and the bad.
Thank you that this journey gives us both.
Worship to me is more than signing a song. I believe that you can experience worship in all things.
It can be letting the view of a beautiful mountain top take your breath away,
It can be the awe of a crashing ocean along a beach,
it can be the smell of your baby when she/he sleeps alongs side you
Worship can be as simple as smelling the crisp air and letting the sunshine warm your cheeks.
as simple as leaving a grocery store.
A beautiful book that I have just started about pregnancy after loss, written by a dear friend can be found here. I highly recommend it :).
I wanted to share this post I wrote on Disney about Aiden & I...there are a lot of "candid, everyday" pics of He & I when he was a baby! post here!
**also many of you asked on Wednesday if I would share about the preschool class that I mentioned in my post. Yes, it is a 4 week class and I would absolutely love to share that knowledge once the class ends!