I have this analogy... there is a woman leaving the hospital in her car,
she has experienced a death in the family and she is driving home in a fog....a disarray
out of sorts
and a woman in another car angrily swerves around her, throws up her middle finger, shouts something, honks & speeds past.
The woman leaving the hospital barely can see through the tears, in almost a slow motion turns her head and connects eye contact for a moment with this hostile, angry person.
There is a moment where their eyes meet and the woman who has just moments earlier lost so very much is looking at this person thinking
if you only knew
If you only knew...would you treat me this way?
Would you extend me grace & mercy?
Would you try harder to understand why I might be doing the things that I am doing?
Isn't that an interesting way to views social media & blogging as well?
Like... it's so easy to look at the snippet someone shares on instagram or a blog and assume we know everything?
What if there was more to each story? Way more happening behind the scenes.
Reasons for decisions.
Explanations for actions.
I read this post by Jami this week and I loved it so incredibly much.
I love the idea of always celebrating others gifts
and not only loving well but
celebrating on their behalf.
There are areas I used to share so freely about and then I feel like somewhere along the way I might have lost myself a bit...a little fear crept in.
the desire for acceptance.
I have faced my fear head on this year and in so many huge areas won such great victories.
yet still fight moments of pulling back.
I wonder if it is always a balance? always a battle?
Sometimes I can't type it out fast enough and other times I just feel so quiet.
Sometimes confident in my thoughts and with my words.
others not so much.
Last night we had part of our Holy Week at church and there was a moment where I felt so ashamed. The God of the Universe loves me....and for some reason I am still concerned with how people see me.
That they understand me.
all of that is just pride right? Gross pride that I need to die to.
I think it is so important to be kind and loving yet find some balance between letting people's thoughts and assumptions on you take over your thoughts.
I guess it is in the amount of weight in which you carry it.
I have processed through so many seasons on this little space.
So many beautiful moments have been walked through with this lovely community.
Such beautiful people. all out sharing their stories...
All these inspiring people, chasing their hopes for this one life.
I want to celebrate you. Your victories.