Just say yes.
When Chris left for his trip, I decided I want to make a conscious effort to slow down and say yes. If it takes 2 hours to get through the grocery store, no big deal. If baths and bedtime take forever, that's great.
I want to slow down.
I was telling Chris tonight what a huge difference that has made. It has been glorious. Tonight dinner, baths, pjs, prayers, brushing our teeth...it all took a long time. I started singing to Aiden (he was last to get up on the stool to brush his teeth) and he said, " will you rock me mama?". Oh my goodness, it has been far too long since I have done this with him. The fast pace of life and the days that speed by with three small kiddos, when was the last time that I rocked him?? I pulled him up into the same rocking chair that I sang to him night after night. A tall, long-legged 4 year old boy put his arms around me and I rocked him to sleep. I had no agenda, no where to go but right there present with him. I smelled his hair, I felt his cheeks. I soaked in every last ounce of it.
Will there be moments and days someday that I wished I had done more of this?
Said yes more?
I want to say yes as much as possible to them. When I start to say no, I stop..think about it...yes! let's do that!
Not being in a rush or having an agenda, dying to the "lists"... it has freed something in me. Like I have nothing to lose because I don't have an expectation of things I need to get done for the day. Today we were driving to the pool and Aiden asked me to turn up the music and roll the windows down. I looked in my rear-view mirror and Aiden and Ains were singing into fake microphones and laughing together.
It almost felt like slow motion.
Are we really at this point? Do I really have a 4 year old and (almost) 3 year old singing in my backseat??
I am not sure if it was the loud music and the beautiful breeze creeping in or just a culmination of emotions all hitting at once...but I couldn't help but let my eyes fill with tears. I am so lucky to be their mom. To enjoy them everyday. To have the honor of teaching them how to be and loving them.
It's just so beautiful.