where are you?

December 12, 2013

 I read this post this week and I havent been able to get it out of my mind. This story of loss and his raw emotion... wondering if anyone is going to come back and reach for him.

 I honestly have thought a lot about community. I know a lot of people have a great community and a great support system for life. But what about the rest? It's like when someone tells me they are Chris' best friend and I know they don't have a clue about our life. Not. a. clue. You know, the stuff no one wants to ask about. The messy stuff. The hard questions.

 It's hard sometimes to ask the hard questions. To really dig in and meet people where they are at. It's a lot less messy to stay up on the surface. Away from depression, addiction, loss, death, divorce.... you know the heavy stuff.

I feel convicted by this. It rattles around in my head like a tin can. Someone very close to me opened up recently about what was really going on for them the past five years. It took me a day to process and then a few days later I stood before this person. sorry. heartbroken. in tears.
My heart ached that I kept our conversations light. I was there and had no idea. I was swimming on the surface as someone that I love dearly was plunging at rapid speed into an ocean of hurt and question.

where was I?