a story behind every scar.

January 09, 2014

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Every time I step out of the shower or stand in my closet to change I see this 6 inch scar across my tummy that reminds me of what used to grow inside me. I run my fingers across it often. The slightest tingle of where the nerves are gone, the ever so small mountain of scar tissue. The three precious babes that were safe and nurtured there, the three tiny souls that had life breathed into them, the three little people that carry my hearts in them.

A mark of remembrance given by a doctor's hands.




I know of many women who see their scar as a symbol of failure. They wanted a certain kind of birth story and their scar is a daily reminder of a dream that might have been lost. I get that. We can't judge someone's dreams or someone's pain. I learned that when we lost Addison. In a weird way I felt ashamed, like my body had failed me. Like I was less of a woman. But with my scar...for me, it's such a symbol of beauty. I love my scar, I love what it represents. I love that I will leave earth with this scar, I will still have a physical symbol that the souls I hold dearest grew within me. I love that it will not diminish or change, it is a forever part of me...just as each of them are.

My scar holds gratitude. Gratitude for modern medicine.... for without it Aiden and I wouldn't be here today. You see, my hip bones are designed in a way where a baby wouldn't make it out any other way. And after hours of a traumatic preterm labor, they cut him out of me.


The thing is, they are small now but someday they will be grown. They will have families of their own, dreams, decisions..... and not only will they still carry my heart but I will carry the physical reminder of their beginning.


There is a story behind every scar.


Can you think of anything more beautiful than your child's life behind that mark?



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32 comments:

  1. Amen to that! A scar for me as well for the three little ones I carried - grateful and thankful for it:) I earned that scar!!!! Praise The Lord for modern medicine!

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  2. Very moving words. Thankyou for sharing your beautiful thoughts! Your on the heart posts always inspire me.

    <3 Ariel

    crashingthroughglass.blogspot.com

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  3. Beautiful! Thank you for sharing.

    www.samanthaelizabethblog.com

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  4. That's how I feel about my stretch marks. Most women hate them, I see them as a symbol of who I grew inside of me. I see them as a symbol of my daughter. The joy of seeing that life grow inside of me is inexplicable and they remind me of that joy.

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  5. this is beautiful and a redemptive reassurance that even when our best laid plans don't come to fruition, there is still beauty in our stories and our journeys. my belly is now stretching for the fifth time and while I don't bear the scars, I bear the marks of where labor began...the labor of love that is raising our children.

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  6. Such a beautiful post.

    And I'm so sorry to mention what I'm about to here, on the totally wrong post.
    I took part in linking "my word for 2014", and it's the first time I've ever done so. And did it from your side, and did it all wrong. I linked up YOUR post, not mine. So I had to do it one more time.

    Link 552 strenght goes to your post, and 553 strenght is mine, the real one!
    I don't know if you can remove the one I did wrong?

    Anyway. I'm sorry.

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  7. this is beautiful and a redemptive reassurance that even when our best laid plans don't come to fruition, there is still beauty in our stories and our journeys. my belly is now stretching for the fifth time and while I don't bear the scars, I bear the marks of where labor began...the labor of love that is raising our children.

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  8. Beautiful, Casey! I feel the same way about my scar (though I can't stand to touch it or my belly button), modern science, and my three precious babies. When I had to have my first C-section 9 years ago, I was disappointed in myself. At the same time, I was so thankful that my Eli and I were safe... That God had protected us. My other two were planned, of course, but the thought of one more surgery scares me greatly. Even so, my scar reminds me daily of my loves and I would gladly have been cut from head to toe to keep them safe. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, friend. xo

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  9. This made me cry. I've spent the last three and a half weeks feeling failed by my body. It puts it into perspective that it's doing exactly what it should and makes me grateful of this gift growing inside of me. Thank you for your wonderful attitude today. It's catching.

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  10. Beautiful words, friend. And beautiful photo!!! So much of life is our perspective....I've learned that with each moment in my life that didn't go as I had originally planned. Yet, I still keep relearning it. LOVE your perspective on your scar.

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  11. I absolutely loved this post, this was beautifully written and completely inspiring as always. I couldn't agree more!

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  12. Beautiful Casey. Your voice in this space is incredibly encouraging!

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  13. Beautiful Casey. Your voice in this space is incredibly encouraging!

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  14. Absolutely beautiful post Casey! I try to remind myself that the scar that I have going down the middle of my chest is the reason I'm alive today, my scar is apart of my story. Have a wonderful weekend Casey. xoxo

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  15. Sigh. Then there's me....who has the same scar because I had to have a fibroid the size of a grapefruit removed. Along with 20 other fibroids....in hopes of one day having that scar mean something. It will be one year since that surgery this Feb 4th....and the doctor said we should have been pregnant by the end of the year last year. But we're not. I suppose my scar is part of my story too. But gosh I'm praying it has a happy ending!

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  16. When my 4 year old got a long line of stitches on his cheek, from an overzealous pup's nails the doctor told us, "Scars are like tatoos, but with better stories." He's 15 now, and he likes his mark.

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  17. Oh my gosh Casey, this was one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. I feel the same exact way about my scar, and three babies.

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  18. What a beautiful use of words, Casey...I have my c-section scar, as well and every stretch mark too. Those symbols on my body are my favorites. They each tell a story. Thank you for continuing to share yours. Love to you.

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  19. It's all about perspective. Love the photo!


    chevrons&anchors

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  20. Beautiful. That's exactly how I feel about all those stretch marks each of my three babes left behind...

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  21. After I underwent a very traumatic labor and emergency C section that was full surgery (put fully under and my husband wasn't with me), I was so saddened that people felt the need to apologize that I had a C section and didn't experience a natural birth. My scar is a symbol of triumph, and beauty, and a true gift. How lucky are we C section mamas to live in an age where medicine can get our babies out safely. Throughout my pregnancy I was so stressed about stretchmarks and thought they would be the end of the world but now I couldn't care less as I see them in the mirror and my heart swells for the love of my son. Thank you for sharing!

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  22. Beautiful words, my friend. By far, one of my most favorite posts. xo

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  23. That is such a beautiful way to look at it. So many people are so strung up on the idea that they're different that they hardly recognize the beauty of that little one they now hold. Absolutely gorgeous words. I'm not even a mama, and I loved this post.

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  24. such a great reminder of what little blessings babies are.

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  25. So beautifully put. While I don't have that scar, if that happens with my next one I will know to look back here and remember that it is a sign of life, not of a dream lost but gained.

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  26. I love this! I hold my scar very dear to me. I was one that wished for a different kind of birth, but in the end it didn't matter. I got the one and only most important thing and that was a happy, healthy baby. She needed to be born that way, for whatever reason. My daughters birth was the biggest blessing to me and I will be reminded of that everytime I see or touch that scar.

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  27. Thank you for your words, Casey.

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  28. Lovely post. That's how I've learned to feel about my stretch marks. A beautiful reminder of the sweet babies that are closest to me.

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  29. I'm waiting to meet my second baby next week and your words touch me so much. i pray God everything goes well. a bug hug

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