I love sharing our story. There have been so many moments when it was hard. So many moments when it was embarassing, so many vulnerable moments and feelings. I have grown up a lot here in this space and sometimes my earlier posts and thoughts make me cringe a little. But then I remember that's a part of sharing...in the being vulnerable and in the change. I have made mistakes and I have been stretched. God has shown me things and revealed Himself to me in ways I never imagined or expected.
This past month I did something called "summit". You know those seasons or moments you look back on and think? Yes, that was pivitol. That was life-changing. This past two weeks has been that for me. I have cried my eyes out in front of my computer screen, had my thoughts turning all day, I have laughed and dug deep into the depths of my soul.
Our very last assignment is to share.
Share from your mind and you impact minds.
Share from your heart and you touch hearts.
Share from your life and you change lives.
Who doesn't love a story? Who doesn't love to know where someone has been and the way something has moved them?
" We love stories. Think of the greatest life-changing leader of all time. Jesus Christ was a simple man from a small town. Still today his stories are being told. People asked Him questions and He told stories in return. People tried to trap Him in debates and He told stories in return. He asked questions that made people wonder who they were in the story and who they wanted to be. Who He was and why they were so drawn to follow Him. He was and is the Master and we would do well to seek after His model of leadership."
The past two weeks I have been challenged to understand who I am? Who am I aside from a mama, a wife, a blogger. Who did He create me to be? Who am I at my deepest core? Who am I despite the past and the circumstances...as I waded through all of that, as I searched down deep and looked down the very core I found her.
I found the woman that He created from day one.
The gifts that He placed in me, how I tick and what makes me who I am. I quieted the noise of the outside world- all of the comments from others and just sought Him.
Who do you say I am?
Who do you want me to be?
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.” - Psalm 139:13-18
Words are powerful. And as I sought Him, I realized the lies that had been sealed into my heart.
I stood raw and broken in front of a mirror, I spoke truth to myself and I spilled my soul to ten other women as we trekked the summit together.
I rejected the lies, I clung to the truth.
I found freedom as I voiced fears and as I looked into my weaknesses head on.
I took hurt from the past and I learned how to choose love.
This journey is about me, no one else and that is where the beauty was found. Down deep below the muck.
I can so clearly see His path for me as I look back. It started as an art teacher at a sweet small school. Then lead me to A Little Artsy, our very own art studio. Then He led me to blog and I shared posts like this and was made fun of and mocked. I almost deleted it a few times because I wasn't sure I should have been so vulnerable, but a small whisper told me to have open hands with my life. Then he led me to health struggles and then to oils. I can so clearly now see all the pieces- all being placed together one by one, they fit together perfectly.
One year ago when I signed up to learn more about oils I was seeking answers about our health. I also felt like God was speaking the word FREEDOM down deep in my soul. It was a constant whisper. I could taste it, I could see it so clear. As I journeyed last year I found answers about our health and we made drastic life changes.
At fist I was hesitant to share. And then I died to my pride and shared all of it, full abandon. I felt God ask me to open up our life so that others could see it all.
I saw change and felt the freedom.
Then I got to be a part of a community that feels like a family. A friend of ten years walked along side me and we decided we wanted to walk along side others on the other-side, the business side. I was beginning to see freedom in that area too and I wanted others to experience it. We poured into these people as if they were sisters. We have cried together and grown. We have done calls where we share our hearts, late night google chats, we have traveled, we have poured water into pipes and seen the flow change life after life.
This summit was a leader who took her time to pour into ten of us. She is full of wisdom, she is Spirit-led and she led us through step by step.
The opportunity is there for each person and my prayer month after month is God, who is it you want us to take care of now? Who will you bring? Who can we disciple and shepherd? The responsibility grows and I gladly step up and accept it. I want to watch life after life change.
I get to do life with these people, what a gift.
Not everyone wants it though, and I realized in summit I can't make them want it. You can only say the opportunity is there, they have to take it. I can embrace them for who God made THEM to be, walk along side them how THEY need and look in the mirror for change in my own life.
“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12